Birthday Boy
by LizardLaugh
Summary: The hot, summer air was thick with dust and sweat and the smell of charred flesh. His wand felt as though it was fused to the palm of hand – a slim holly and phoenix-feather extension of his arm. HarryTonks
1. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

A/N – This is an updated version of Part I. A few changes have been made. Part II is coming along, never fear. I may be slow, but I love this story too much to ever abandon it.  This story is Harry/Tonks, so... hit your back button or keep reading, whichever you think applies to you. I own nothing; J.K. Rowling owns everything except for the title of this chapter, which belongs to C.S. Lewis from his novel by the same name. This story is rated PG-13 for mild sexual situations and violence. See the notes at the end for more Harry/Tonks resources.

**Birthday Boy, Part I**

**_The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nymphadora Tonks eyed the peep hole at Number Four Privet Drive. A pale blue eye stared icily back at her, and then narrowed. Before Tonks could step away, the door flew open and she tripped over the landing, falling into a jumbled heap at eye level with a very prim pair of white, patent leather pumps.  

"Sorry about that!" she gasped, scrambling to her feet and smoothing down her electric blue blunt cut bob. Petunia Dursley stared back at her, arms crossed, lips pursed and left eye twitching ominously. "I'm here to see Harry... I've got a special treat for him. For his birthday." 

"I thought he was scheduled to have his lesson today with that foul, greasy haired man," sniffed Mrs. Dursley, eyeing her beadily. 

"Foul? Greasy... oh! You mean Sevvie... yea... well, we traded." Tonks grinned, and began digging in the pockets of her cloak. "I got tickets to see the Weird Sisters."

"What?"

"The Weird Sisters. They're a –"

"Never mind THAT. We agreed to let Harry have his lessons over the summer, not go traipsing off to freak shows with – "

"Freaks?" Tonks winked at her, and then put on her serious face when it became obvious Mrs. Dursley had yet to acquire a sense of humor. "Well it is technically a lesson. A field trip. Harry has to learn to blend in."  

Mrs. Dursley looked as if she doubted very seriously that anyone with blue hair and a long, violently purple cloak could teach anyone lessons in 'blending in', but said nothing, clearly fuming. Tonks took that for grudging approval. 

"Well, um... anyway if --" Tonks spied Harry leaning against the stair railing over Mrs. Dursley's shoulder. "Ah! There you are, Harry." 

Mrs. Dursley sniffed and marched huffily off in the direction of her unnaturally clean kitchen. 

"Wotcher, Tonks." Harry grinned at her. "I thought it was Snape today."

"Yes, well, since it was your birthday, and since I can't imagine anyone would want to spend a birthday with the Melancholy Master, and since I just happened to have tickets to see the Weird Sisters... hope you aren't disappointed, " she said, following him up the stairs to his bedroom. 

"Disappointed? Are you kidding? What a relief," he said, his face alight.  "I really appreciate it. I've... I've never been to a wizard concert before. I mean, the Weird Sisters did play at a ball once at school, and I really liked them, but... well... thanks. I usually spend my birthday alone, actually... "

_Poor kid. He's been to hell and back, lost his Godfather, still has to live with these disgusting people..._ He seemed to find the Metamorphmagus lessons fun at least. Though at times, when he didn't think she was paying attention, she could see the darkness clouding his face.  Being savior of the entire Wizarding world was a great deal to shoulder for a kid. Hell, it was a great deal to shoulder for anyone, maybe even for Dumbledore. They'd all aged after that night at the Ministry. He had talked about it some, and she felt quite honored that he trusted her enough to open up to her. Merlin knew she'd never quite be the same again, but Harry... you could see it in his eyes. He was an old soul to begin with, but now the boyish innocence was almost completely gone. It wasn't fair... _'I usually spend my birthday alone, actually...'_ it made her very sad. She fought the urge to embrace him. 

"Harry..." she paused, not really knowing what to say without making him feel uncomfortable or sounding like a great big sap. 

"It's ok, really... I got presents, and a couple of cakes," he said brightly, opening the door to his comfortably disheveled room -- the only room in the Dursley household Tonks ever felt at ease in. 

There were school books and quills and scrolls spread across a small, battered desk. His bed was made, but slightly wrinkled where he had recently sat upon it. Chocolate Frog cards were scattered across the counterpane, including an ultra rare Bertie Bott card sealed and mounted in a frame. A calendar was tacked on the wall, with a large red circle around the date 'September 1'. A brand new book titled _A Survival Handbook for Aurors: 1001 Spells, Hexes and Counter Curses_ lay atop a dresser next to a sleeping Hedwig in her cage.

"From Mad-Eye?" she asked, tracing the raised gold letters on the cover with a fingertip. 

"From Hermione," he replied darkly, picking up the book and stuffing into his open school trunk. "Moody sent me this." He was holding up a small, pocket sized mirror Tonks recognized instantly as a foe glass. "It's been dead useful already... just this morning it warned me that Dudley was trying steal my muffin."

Tonks laughed. "I must admit I've used my own foe glass for similar purposes."

Harry showed her a few more presents, including a fine pair of dragon hide gloves sent by Remus Lupin that had once belonged to her cousin, Sirius Black. He offered her some cake (which she declined), and then demonstrated perfectly the Metamorphmagi trick she had shown him the previous week  -- making his hands look really old and craggy -- which made her chest swell a bit with pride. He was catching on rather quickly now, though things had not been quite so smooth in the beginning. 

"So tonight we will be going on a bit of a field trip," she said, pacing the room as Harry lay sprawled across the bed on his stomach watching her intently. "It will be a lesson in blending into a crowd. A fun lesson, but... well, I promised McG that this would be an _educational experience, it was the only way she would agree to it, so... let's see about making you into the perfect young wizard concert goer."_

"I can't believe Professor McGonagall lets you call her that."

"Who says she lets me?" Tonks winked at him, then continued. "Anyway, basically we will work on hair, facial features and..." she paused, casting a critical glance at Harry's closet. "We'll also need to transfigure something for you to wear."

"Er... well, my Muggle clothes are second hand from my cousin... and I only need my regular school robes at Hogwarts," he said, sounding a bit embarrassed. Tonks immediately felt terrible. 

"Oh, that's quite all right... I mean, I didn't care about clothes at all as a teenager. Well, I still don't, actually, not really. I mean... well. It really doesn't matter in the end when we can transfigure exactly what we need since it is only for a few hours, right?" she said, a bit flustered. "Let's get to work then, shall we?"

The next hour was spent perfecting Harry's look. Since brightly colored hair was all the rage among fashionable wizarding youth at the moment, he decided on a deep purple. It took several tries, despite hair transformation being Harry's very first sign of Metamorphmagus ability. Getting the crazy, multidirectional cowlicks to transform into something less recognizably Harry-like took a great deal of concentration on his part. Tonks coaxed him along, and eventually they achieved the look they were going for. 

"You seem to do this so effortlessly," he grumbled, scrunching up his face and fighting a stray, spiky strand. Tonks didn't dare admit it, but he was really cute when he did that. _Too cute._

"It'll come, just takes practice. Lots and lots of practice," she smiled at him. Though she had discovered her gift at an earlier age, morphing still wasn't by any means effortless. It took a great deal of focus. "It's still not exactly easy breezy for me either, you know."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "So how did you know?"

"Didn't I tell you? Hermione mentioned that thing with your hair, when you grew it back after your aunt sheared it all off," she said. "I knew immediately of course, that's just not some accidental thing you can do. Self-transfiguration is very, very advanced magic, I knew you had to be a Metamorphmagus."

"No, I mean... how did you find out _you were a Metamorphmagus?" he asked._

Tonks smiled to herself at the memory. "Well, my father had taken me to a Muggle amusement park. He has a great love for roller coasters, my father. Anyway, we were queued up for this great big one – lots of loops and things. I was very excited, always had a thing for danger, I suppose. However, once we got to the front of the queue, there was a man standing there with a measuring stick. He said you had to be a certain number of centimeters in order to ride. I was a wee bit of a thing, so I was a few centimeters short. Terribly disappointed, I was. So... there I stood, near tears, wishing I could grow just a bit, just enough to ride. And, well, I did. Just like that!"

"Must have been quite a shock," he said, grinning at her. "Did you get to go on the roller coaster after all?"

"Oh, good heavens no," said Tonks, laughing. "My father snatched me away immediately. The Ministry had quite a time sorting it all out, but my parents were very proud in the end, once they realized what it all meant."

His expression was unreadable for a moment, but then brightened. "I've never been on a roller coaster before. The Dursleys never let me come along when they took Dudley to amusement parks for his birthday. Is it fun?"

"Oh yes, loads of fun. A bit like being on a runaway broomstick, but you are all strapped in and such," she said. "We could go on one sometime if you like."

"I would like that very much," he said. "If it's not any trouble, of course. I always wanted to visit an amusement park."

"Trouble? Of course not, Harry," she giggled. "I like spending time with you, and besides, I never do anything fun on my days off."

"You... you like spending time with me?" he asked, sounding slightly incredulous. 

"Well of course I do," she said, a bit bemused. "Tell you what... I have next Saturday off. If you don't have any other lessons, I'll clear it with Minnie. I'll tell her I've got another field trip planned out for you."

Harry seemed quite excited by this. "Really? Oh wow, that would be great."

"Excellent! It's a date then."

"A... a date?" His eyebrows shot up, and his glasses nearly slid off his nose.

"Er, yea... but you can bring Ron and Hermione along if you like," she said, realizing that perhaps 'date' wasn't quite the word to use, under the circumstances.

"Oh," he said, quietly. "I don't think they'd want to."

"I suppose it will be just the two of us then," she said, feeling a bit guilty that she rather liked the idea of it being just the two of them.  "Er, perhaps we should get on with getting ready for the concert, shall we?"

"Yes, of course," he said, looking away from her. 

To Tonks's astonishment, it took Harry almost no effort to rid himself of the lightening bolt scar on his forehead. "Been practicing," he admitted, his expression darkening and his voice sounding almost vicious. 

"Eyes?" she asked. "And what of your glasses?"

"I would like to keep my eyes the way they are," he said, gazing into the mirror above his dresser. "I... I rather like my eyes."

"We'll still need to change your glasses," Tonks replied gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. She had met Lily Potter only once, but those eyes... she couldn't forget them. "I rather like your eyes too."

Transforming Harry's clothes was actually less of an undertaking than Tonks had originally feared. She found a slightly too small, faded black t-shirt in the back of a drawer that really only needed the color transfigured to a deeper black. His jeans needed to be fit properly, though getting them to hug certain curves and bulges without being too tight or too obvious managed to turn the exercise into an embarrassing one for them both. Ripping the holes in the right places was slightly less embarrassing, but Harry still managed to turn three different shades of red as she was picking out the best spots. 

"Now you just need a stylish set of robes..." Tonks rummaged through Harry's school trunk for something suitable and found nothing, until...  "Ah! Here we are!" They were formal dress robes, but they would be easy enough to fix. "Harry –" 

 "Those are my dress robes. They are probably too small for me now; I got them in Fourth year."

"No worries." She eyed the robes critically. "Here, toss them on then."

Harry struggled into his old dress robes. The sleeves were much too short, the hem hit about mid-calf, and he had obviously grown broader across the chest and shoulders. "I guess I've grown a bit," he said sheepishly.

"Indeed. Well, let's see what we can do..." Harry looked slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. "Color's good... matches your eyes. Hmmm..."

Ten minutes later, Harry stood before her completely transformed. He was the perfect picture of a young, reckless bad boy wizard. The sort that had once made her heart melt as a rebellious trouble maker at Hogwarts. She giggled slightly at the memory. Her tastes ran slightly more straight laced these days. But only slightly. 

"What? What is it?" he asked, eyeing himself critically in the mirror. "Do I look ok? Do you think anyone will recognize me?"

"You look... you look absolutely perfect, Harry," she said, smiling at him. "You look... nice. Very nice." _Almost too nice, she thought.  "If I took you home, my mother would be horrified." _

"Is that... good?" He looked perplexed.

"Very good."

They had to wait until dark before flying off, lest they be spotted by Muggles. Tonks took the time to perfect her own look for the evening, entertaining Harry with various hair styles and outrageous outfits. This was for fun, not deep cover, so she kept her 'real' face and petite build. In fact, unless it was a deep cover operation or a specific lesson, she always kept relatively close to her natural appearance around Harry. After all of the deception he had endured, she wanted to be as genuine with him as possible. 

After the sun had set (and a small kafuffle with Vernon Dursley) Tonks and Harry set off on their broomsticks.  Harry was extremely happy to be on his Firebolt again after having had it chained to a wall the entire school year at Hogwarts. He truly was an amazing flier, no question about it, and an absolute joy to watch. Tonks fancied herself a skilled flier (a necessity as an Auror), but Harry had a natural gift that no amount of practice could ever approach. 

They had a bit of a tailwind, and the flight to London went a bit quicker than expected. Harry looked almost disappointed as they touched down on the roof of The Leaky Cauldron. 

"The concert is in Diagon Alley?" Harry asked, removing his new dragon hide gloves finger by finger. _Such nice hands..._

"At the Screaming Banshee," she replied. "It's a night club."

"I had no idea there were wizarding night clubs in Diagon Alley," he said, shouldering his Firebolt. Tonks tried not to look at his hands as he did so. "Will they let me in?"

"Of course they will. You're with me." 

The potbellied doorwizard at the Screaming Banshee gave them both appraising looks after taking their tickets, but his beady little eyes narrowed on Harry. Tonks was afraid for a moment that he had recognized him. "You sure you're old enough to be in here?" he asked in a drawling accent Tonks was able to place as vaguely Southern American.

Relieved it was only his age at issue, she reached inside of her cloak and pulled out her Auror's badge. The doorwizard pulled a stubby cherry wood wand out of his back pocket and tapped the silver and bronze badge with a skeptical smirk. He looked slightly disappointed to find it was genuine. "Ain't this one a little young for you, darlin'?" 

Tonks smiled sweetly at him as she pocketed her badge. "I like them that way... young, tender and thoroughly corruptible," she said silkily, and linked her arm in Harry's. He goggled at her, but thankfully kept his mouth shut until they made it inside the club. "We'll have to work on facial aging next lesson," she whispered to him as they seated themselves at a small table near the bar.

A scantily clad witch in an apron approached their table with a quill and small pad of parchment. "What can I get you," she cooed. "Fire-jelly shots are on special. Two for a sickle."

"We'll take four," Harry said, digging around for the coins.

Tonks considered for a moment whether or not she should actually be letting Harry order Fire-jelly shots. They were nearly pure Fire Whiskey. McG would be horrified. On second thought... a few couldn't possibly hurt.... it was his birthday, after all...

"Is this a typical thing for Aurors? Going to a concert, I mean?" Harry asked, downing his third Fire-jelly shot. 

"When you are tailing someone, you could end up anywhere. You have to be prepared for that. As a Metamorphmagus, you have a distinct advantage over other wizards who have to use complicated spells to transfigure themselves. Once you've begun to master the basics a bit better, we'll work on what is probably almost as important as being able to transform itself. That is, of course, observation. You have to be able to study your surroundings and gauge what would be the best form to take. If you are pretending to be a Cockney chip shop Muggle girl, you have to act the part," she said. "You have to become a student of human behavior – both wizard and Muggle."

"Is that why it takes three years to become an Auror?"

"Well, it's just one reason. There is a great deal to learn. Being an Auror isn't just about attack spells and battles. In fact, that happens rather infrequently, which is a good thing, I'm sure you will agree," she said, helping herself to a Fire-jelly shot. "A large part of the job is actually research, data collection, compiling dossiers, studying your quarry until you know him or her almost as well as you know yourself. The key to staying alive in this profession is knowledge, anticipating your enemy's next move, and acting before he makes it."

"So someone like Hermione would probably do better than me then?" Harry asked, not meeting her eyes and twiddling with his shot glass.

"Hermione would do ok, but she doesn't think on her feet the way you do. She would be a good researcher, a good strategist, but not a good field operative or tactician. She's a brilliant and very talented witch, but being an Auror requires you to hone your abilities until they are burned into your subconscious at an almost instinctual level. Hermione could never do that. She would always be second guessing herself." 

"Sometimes her second guessing comes in real handy. I – I wish I would have listened to her that night..." he trailed off.

"Harry..." she began, softly, "second guessing does come in handy sometimes, that's why we Aurors work in teams. Part of Auror training is learning _when_ to second guess."

"How many more of my friends do I have to see die before that happens?" he said bitterly, almost spitting out the words. 

"I - I can't answer that for you. I've seen friends die and wondered how I could have prevented their deaths. Nothing I can say or do will make you feel better about that. Nothing anyone has ever said to me has exactly made me feel better." Tonks felt her eyes begin to burn and her throat close up. She fought back the memory. "You've seen as much as most Aurors. More, really, and have come out alive where many have not. There is a reason McGonagall and Dumbledore wanted to get you started on your training now rather than later.  You-Know-Who is after you --"

Harry let out a derisive snort, cutting her off. "Lucky me."

"No Harry, lucky us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

Tonks considered him for a moment. He had no idea... Sixteen years old, not quite a man, but not a boy either. Yet... if anyone could save the magical world, it was Harry. She felt it was supremely unjust that this wonderful young man sitting in front of her was the target of the most evil, most powerful wizard in centuries, but Harry was the only one among them who had the power, strength and goodness to defeat that evil. 

"Because, Harry, if it were anyone else, I would fear for our world. Because it is you, I know that no matter what happens, no matter how many die, no matter what evil must be endured, you and you alone have the power to defeat him." She paused.  "And you will." 

"Well... thanks for the vote of confidence," he said quietly. "I think."

"You are quite welcome," she said. "And thank _you."_

"For what?" he asked.

"For being you."

"It's not much fun being me," he said darkly, waving down the cocktail waitress. "Rather lonely, in fact."

"You've got me," she said, lightly touching his arm. "And you've got Remus and Mad-Eye and Kingsley. You've got Ron and Hermione --"

"Oh, them," he said with a derisive laugh. Tonks eyed him quizzically, and he continued. "Ron and Hermione have each other. I imagine they --"

"I imagine they would still go to the ends of the earth for you Harry, if you asked them." _So that's it... Ron and Hermione must be a couple now. _

"Well, maybe..." He sighed, and picked up one of the shot glasses that had wafted over from the bar and landed on their table. "I guess I should have seen it coming, you know? I know I should feel happy for them, but I don't."

"Did you..." She began, not really wanting to pry, but curious nonetheless. "Did you have feelings for Hermione yourself?"

"No. I mean, well, I don't really know. It's not that, really, it's just..." He paused, raising a Fire-jelly to his lips, then putting it down again a little too hard on the table. "It's just I – I always thought of us as a... as a trio. Not consciously, of course, but now they have something I can't be a part of. I feel...."

"Cut off?" She finished for him.

"Yes, that's it. Cut off."

"You can't blame them, Harry."

"I don't. I just wish I could find something like that," he said.

"A girl, you mean?"

"Not just a girl, no... Someone who..." His face turned slightly red. "Well, you know..."

Tonks stifled a giggle.

"It's not funny," he said, but he was hiding a smile. 

"It's ok Harry, I know what you mean. We all have, um, needs." She couldn't believe she had just said that. _No more alcohol for me...Bad Tonks, Bad..._

His eyes widened slightly at her, but then he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Yea...needs... but, well, that's not quite what I mean either, if you know what I mean. Not that I don't have needs..."

"I, er, know what you mean." The conversation was beginning to veer off in a dangerous direction. 

"I need someone who knows me, you know? Someone who doesn't just know me as The Boy Who Lived. An equal, someone... someone who knows what it's like to fight these battles, someone who _understands," he said, leaning across the table towards her. She could smell the alcohol on his breath._

"I understand," she said, realizing how her words must sound a moment too late.  

He tilted his head, looking at her and smiling slightly, his half-lidded eyes twinkling at her in a way that sent a small thrill up her spine. "You do understand..."

"Whoops! Look at the time. Concert is about to start," she said, a little too loudly and looking at her wrist for a watch that wasn't there. "Perhaps we should make our way towards the stage and get a good spot?"

"Sure," he said distantly, getting up from the table and following her towards the dance floor.

_Nice save_, she thought to herself.

***

Tonks watched Harry out of the corner of her eye. His face was flushed. He was swaying to the music, but not quite with it.  She still couldn't shake the way had looked at her earlier. Perhaps it was a mistake letting him have the Fire-jelly shots, but, well... no harm done. Not really. Perhaps she shouldn't have had any herself, however.

He had done a Reducto charm on his robes and had stuffed them into a pocket. He was left in the slightly too small tee-shirt and artfully torn jeans, revealing firm quadriceps. _Let's not go there, she thought to herself and tried to focus on the stage and not on the lean, lightly muscled arms of the newly legal young man brushing against her. _

_He's not that young_, she told herself. _Only seven years difference in age. That's practically nothing.  _

_He's still at Hogwarts_, her more rational voice countered. _Besides, you are his teacher._

_No, no... not teacher. Tutor. I'm only that because I am the only Metamorphmagus in all of __Britain__. _

_Well, you are also an Auror. You are an authority figure. You track down people who break the law._

_Well, that is not quite accurate. Besides, he *is* sixteen. He's perfectly legal_. 

_What would Professor McGonagall say?_

_Minnie McG? Well, considering the way she looks at Sevvie when she thinks no one is looking..._

_You are hopeless._

_Yes, I am, now go away. _

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "You alright, Tonks?" Harry's eyebrows were furrowed in concern. 

"Yep. Perfectly peachy," she replied, forcing a smile. 

"You want to dance?"

For the first time Tonks noticed the slowly swaying, lip-locked couples around her. "You do realize what you are getting yourself into?" 

He looked slightly disappointed.

"Oh, not that I wouldn't want to dance with you... It's just... well, I am a complete klutz. I can't dance at all. I trip over air, you know... But, er... if you don't mind all that...."

"I'm not the greatest dancer either," he admitted. "But, um... what did you say earlier? 'It'll come, just takes practice'?" 

Tonks had to smile at that. "Ok, let's dance then," she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. His very, very _nice shoulders. ___

She felt his hands tentatively grasp at her waist. 

"Is this right?" he asked, pulling her closer and grinning. She could feel his breath on her cheek. 

"Mmmm... yes. Yes, I believe it is indeed," she replied, looking away, and suddenly very aware that their bodies were touching. She was also suddenly very aware of the texture of his jeans against her bare legs... very aware of his fingers caressing the small of her back... of her breasts brushing against his chest.

"You smell good," he murmured, burying his face in her hair.

_Oh no..._ Tonks's head flew up in surprise, the back of her skull hitting the slightly inebriated Harry square in the nose. 

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Harry..." she fumbled for her wand. 

"It's... it's alright..." his hand was partially covering face. "Just – "

"Just hold still a moment," she said squinting at him. "_Reducto Doleo!"_

"Oh, wow... thanks. That was fast." He looked a little embarrassed.

"Yea, well, with my clumsiness I've become a bit of an expert with these things," she admitted sheepishly. "Of course, my Muggle grandmother always..."  She stopped herself. 

"Yes?" 

"Oh, well..." she felt her face flush_. "When I would get a scrape or bruise as a little girl, Gran Tonks– my Muggle grandmother – would always say 'a kiss to make it better'. Muggle Magic."_

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment, then his mouth curled into a half smile. "It still hurts a little. Maybe you should try that, too," he said softly. "Kiss it and make it better."

Maybe it was the music, maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the utterly charming way he was looking at her, maybe it was.... whatever it was, it compelled Tonks to stand on her toes and kiss Harry lightly on the tip of his nose. 

"Even better." He smiled at her, then leaned down and brushed his lips softly against hers. 

Before she even realized what she was doing, she was returning his kiss. She could feel his unexpectedly strong, elegantly beautiful hands on her back, pulling her closer until their bodies were pressed tightly together. His lips and tongue were gentle, tentative at first, but became urgent, insistent, and almost rough when he realized she wasn't going to pull away. There was something else... something she hadn't felt before. It was a kind of raw, intoxicating power... it made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. It made her want to devour him whole. He didn't kiss like a sixteen year old boy... she could almost convince herself it was ok...

Finally she was able to wrench her mouth away from his. Her lips smarted and her face was a little scratched from his slight stubble. It felt absolutely delicious. Why did he have to be so damn kissable?

He was looking at her, those lovely, lovely warm, powerful hands holding hers as they stood there. "Was that... ok?

Tonks sighed deeply and looked down at their hands. "Harry..."

"I don't know if I'm any good at kissing... I-I..." he stammered. 

"No... It's, it's not that it's..." _It's that you're too_ good at kissing... _"I don't think I should be kissing you."_

"Why not?"

"You are sixteen years old, Harry. I'm supposed to be your teacher..."

"Oh, I see... I see how it is." He sounded hurt. "I'm just a kid."

"No... that's not it."

"Well that's sure what it sounds like. Savior of the magical world, but too young to join the Order, too young to be told the truth, too young to kiss... to kiss you." He dropped her hands. "I thought you were different. You never treated me like a kid... "

"You're not a kid, but..."

"But what?" 

Before she could respond, the Weird Sisters ended their slow set and cranked up the volume to their high voltage hit "Charm Me, Baby!" The crowd went stonking wild and began gyrating around them. 

Dodging several pairs of flailing arms, Tonks grabbed one of Harry's wrists, and motioned towards the bar. "Let's go somewhere more quiet," she said, "and private."  

After they made it through the crowd, back to the bar, Harry repeated his question. "But WHAT?"

Tonks sighed heavily. "I'm seven years older than you..." He opened his mouth as if to protest, but she continued on before he could stop her. "I am supposed to be teaching you, and quite frankly, there isn't anyone else in the entire country who can. You, despite being decades older than your years, are still at Hogwarts. That makes me..."

"Makes you what?"

"A cradle robber? Really, really stupid?" She crossed her arms over chest and exhaled. "McG barely let me take you off to a concert. What the hell is she going to think when I tell her 'oh yea, by the way, Minnie, thanks for letting me take little Harry Potter out on a date. Boy, he sure does kiss nice.'"

"You think I kiss nice?"

"Yes. Very nice.  Er, wait..."

Before she could protest any further, his mouth was on hers again.  Hungry. Insistent. His hands were on her back, then her hips. It took every ounce of self control in her to finally pull away from him again. 

He said nothing, just grasped her shoulders, breathing heavily and staring at her with those penetrating, deep green eyes. She looked down, away from his gaze. "Harry, we can't..."

His hands went slack and dropped away. When she looked up, his eyes were no longer on her. He was looking at the stage.  It was then that she realized that the music had stopped and the crowd had gone completely silent. In place of the Weird Sisters, stood twenty silent hooded figures in familiar black robes.

A/N – If the Harry/Tonks ship interests you...

There is a Harry/Tonks community on Live Journal (livejournal.com/community/hms_honks). Here, you will find Harry/Tonks stories of all ratings. From there, you can also join the H/T yahoo group hosted by Annabelle. If you click on the 'profile' link on the upper right hand corner, you will find links to the current SCUSA thread at FA Park as well as the FA Cookie thread. eQuasarus, who has an excellent H/T fic posted here at ff.net, has a forum that lists even more H/T fics: 

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LizardLaugh


	2. Will the Real Harry Potter Please Stand ...

**A/N:** Yes... I know this is a looong time coming. Have had some RL issues to deal with. I just wanted to let everyone know that this story will NOT be abandoned. It may take me longer to update than most fanfic writers, but I ADORE this fic and I have the whole thing plotted out already. It will be completed. If you want to be alerted when I update, please subscribe to my yahoo group (lizardfic-subscribe@yahoogroups.com). No spam, just fic updates, cookies and such.  A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed... it means a lot to me when people take the time to give feedback. 

**Birthday Boy, Part II **

**_Will the Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up?_**

**_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_**

Harry Potter was drunk, more than a little randy, extremely frustrated, and not altogether sure what the hell was going on. 

"Death Eaters..." he whispered, unable to move. Just moments ago he had been... no, had he really? 

Harry felt two slim, surprisingly strong arms tighten around his waist, and then his knees crashed painfully into the floor. Something very soft brushed against his shoulder blades... a couple of somethings...  _snap out of it_, he admonished himself. _Sobering charm... sobering charm. He wracked his brain. _

Harry looked frantically up again at the stage. As if as one, the Death Eaters (they were most definitely Death Eaters) raised their wands and chanted in unison.  "_STUPEFY!" The crowd went completely still, their faces all frozen in expressions of shock and horror. Instinctively, Harry reached for his wand._

"Don't move," Tonks hissed in his ear. "They'll see us."  

Before he could respond, a familiar high, haughty laugh drifted down from the stage. A deep, burning hatred welled up inside of him, coursing through his veins like molten lava. _Bellatrix__.__ He could see her. He didn't know how, but he could see her there... clearly. "I could take her out from here..." he whispered to Tonks. "I can see her... it's her."___

Tonks looked at him, bewildered for a moment, then shook her head and mouthed the word 'no'.  It took everything in him not to leap up from their hiding place beside the bar and rush to the stage. Bellatrix Lestrange had stolen from him the closest thing to a father he had ever known. He was livid. He wanted to hurt her, make her feel the pain he felt... 

Harry felt Tonks's cool, steady hand on his arm. It calmed him and sobered him up a bit. He had to get a grip. He couldn't let his rage overcome him if they were to get out of this alive.  He glanced over at Tonks and gave her a brief smile as a way of thanks. She nodded her head in acknowledgement. 

The Death Eaters were talking quietly amongst themselves. _What were they doing here? How had they escaped Azkaban so soon? What were they planning to do? For a while, they both just crouched there, clinging to one another in the semi-darkness. __The Stunning spells should be wearing off the crowd soon, surely... before he could complete the thought, the Death Eaters once again raised their wands. "__IMPERIO!"___

"No!" Harry gasped, scrambling unsteadily to his feet. Tonks grabbed his arm, pulling back to the floor. He gaped at her in disbelief. "Don't you see? Don't you see what she's doing? She's building his army!"

"I see perfectly well, Harry," Tonks whispered, loosening her grip on his arm.  "Do you want to join them?" Her dark, glittering eyes drilled into him. "Do you?"

"So we are just supposed to sit here? And..." he trailed off. 

"Yes," Tonks sighed, her usually impish face now grim. "For now, we let them." 

The crowd had begun to move. They were queuing up. _Queuing up to get their orders... She was right. There really wasn't much they could do. His mind may have been a bit clouded by alcohol and raging hormones, but he could still count. Twenty bad guys, two good guys, and now a crowd of Imperio'd zombies. It didn't take Hermione to figure that one out. ___

The Death Eaters began descending from the stage and moving amongst the crowd. He could hear Bellatrix shouting out orders, then shrilly admonishing someone named Levski. 

"Search the place," Bellatrix yelled. "Make sure everyone is rounded up and accounted for. Look everywhere. The Dark Lord will be very angry if there are witnesses."

Harry and Tonks exchanged significant looks. They had to get out of there quickly and unnoticed, but how? If they moved from their hiding place, they were sure to be spotted. If they didn't move, they were going to be found eventually anyway. Maybe if they both pretended to be just random members of the crowd? No one had recognized him, Tonks could change her appearance. They could pretend to be under the Imperious curse just like everyone else.

"I have an idea," Tonks whispered. "It will be risky, but I think it will work."

"I was thinking we could pretend to be part of the crowd," Harry whispered back, not letting her finish. "Pretend we are under the Imperious curse."

Tonks shook her head. "No, that won't work. For one, we'd have to come out and they would know we had been hiding. For another, once that was discovered they would put us under the Imperious curse for real."

"I can fight it off," Harry said. "I've done it before."

"As have I as a part of Auror training, but you saw what just happened, didn't you? The Death Eaters have found a way to focus their spells. I can fight off the Imperious curse from one person, but twenty all at once?"

Harry considered this for a moment. She had a good point.  "But would they really do it all at once again, for just the two of us?"

"No, not at first, but they will probably have to use Imperio again on the crowd. How that might affect us is an unknown," she said. "However, there is one thing one thing that _is known."_

"What's that?" 

Instead of answering his question, Tonks drew out her wand and began mumbling an incantation under her breath. Her skirt transformed into a pair of very baggy blue jeans. Her form fitting top, which he had been surreptitiously eyeing all evening, changed into a knitted jumper of the sort Mrs. Weasley gave out at Christmas. Her shiny high heeled boots became worn out trainers. Another incantation and a pair of round framed eye glasses were glittering in her hand.  He goggled at her, wondering what she was up to. Still not saying a word, she pocketed her wand, closed her eyes and adopted the pained expression of Metamorphmagus transformation. When she opened them again, they were very green and very familiar...

He couldn't believe it. She had become... become HIM. Her eyes, they were _his_ eyes. She was identical in every way, down to the lightening bolt scar on her (his?) forehead. "W-What are you doing?" he gasped a little too loudly.

"Shhh!" she breathed, putting on the glasses. "Here is what we are going to do. I am going to pretend to be you. Distract them. While they are all congratulating themselves on capturing Harry Potter, the _real_ Harry Potter will sneak out, go back to the Leaky Cauldron, get on his broomstick and fly straight to Grimmauld Place to alert the Order," she whispered, in a perfect imitation of his voice. 

"No," He couldn't let her do this. Had she gone stark raving mad?  "No, this won't work. I'm not... I'm not going to let you do this. You don't know what they will do to you. You could be killed!"

She raised an eyebrow, _his_ eyebrow, and grinned at him. It was the oddest thing. It was a very Tonks-like expression on _his_ face. "I might... but probably not. According to Snape, the Death Eaters are under strict orders not to harm you, not use any magic,  not to do anything but physically restrain you, until You Know Who arrives."

Harry shook his head. "But what happens when Voldemort _does arrive?"_

 "I won't stick around long enough to find out. Even if I can't get away, even he does kill me, at least _you_ are safe."

"Are you mental?" Harry could believe his eyes _or his ears. He wasn't going to let her do this. She didn't... she couldn't possibly understand what Voldemort was capable of. "First of all, you can't be me if you can't say __Voldemort." He ignored her wince, then continued. "Second of all, why don't __you alert the Order? I've faced him before. I've seen more than most Aurors, you said so yourself. I'm not going to let you be killed because of me. I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me"_

"Harry – "

"Besides," he said, cutting her off, then looking away. "I-I'll never get to kiss you again." The minutes before the Death Eaters arrived came flooding back to him. He felt his face go hot at the memory. He'd been crushing on her for weeks, and the way she had looked at him, and then the alcohol... but she had returned his kisses, hadn't she?

"Yes you will," she whispered. He felt a hand on his cheek, gently turning his face. Tonks was smiling at him. Or rather, Tonks with his face was smiling at him. Silently, she leaned in and kissed him very softly on the lips. 

"That didn't count," he said quietly. Harry was silently elated and yet, quite frankly, a bit weirded out. "That was... that was like kissing myself." 

Harry was glad she wasn't opposed to kissing him, but he wasn't going to let her go through with this. He screwed up his face in concentration, focusing his mental energy. He was changing back.

"Harry, no! You can't..." 

"I am," he said, determined not let what he feared most happen again. "No one else is going to die because of me."

"Check over by the by bar," Bellatrix said loudly. She was closer than before. "I thought I heard something over there."

"This is it," he said, turning to Tonks. "I'm going out there."

She stared back at him, determined. "I won't let you."

They were both too busy staring each other down to notice footsteps approaching. 

"Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?" 

It was Bellatrix Lestrange, her lips curling into a self-satisfied smirk.

Harry leapt to his feet, wand in hand, without being fully conscious of how it had got there. He swept a sidelong glance at Tonks. She was also now standing and gripping her wand, matching his stance. 

"So which one of you is the birthday boy?" Bellatrix drawled her voice velvety, almost seductive. "I think it is time for your spanking."

"Guess," spat Tonks, defiant. 

Bellatrix approached her. "My, my how you have grown. So much like your father, except for this..." she said, tracing a finger along the fake scar on Tonks's forehead. "And the eyes... you have the eyes of that Mudblood trollop."  

Harry let out a low, angry growl. At the sound, Bellatrix turned to him, giving him an appraising look. "Or is it _you_? What nice... arms you have." He recoiled as her fingers brushed across his bare skin. 

"Touchy, are we?" Her dark, heavy-lidded eyes gazed at him, unblinking. "Your father didn't mind my touch..."

A bonfire of hate and rage ignited inside of Harry. He lunged at her, unthinking, consumed with the desire to inflict pain. "You're lying! My father hated the Dark Arts and everyone having to do with them! You -"

Two beefy Death Eaters closed in on him, latching onto his upper arms with powerful, two-handed grips. 

"That's him," said Bellatrix in a business-like tone of voice to the Death Eaters. "Tie him, and bring him up to the stage."

"What about this one?" a silky voice asked. The hooded Death Eater had Tonks pinned to the floor. "Shall I kill... _him?"_

_Oh no, Tonks! _How could he be so stupid? How could he give them away like that? _Now that they know... three words echoed in his mind: _Kill the spare...__

"No. Not yet. I want to know who this one is," said Bellatrix, kneeling down beside Tonks. She grabbed a fist full of unruly black hair, and jerked her head sideways. "Who are you?"

"I'm Harry Potter," Tonks replied. 

Harry flinched as Bellatrix slammed her head hard into the floor, shattering the conjured glasses. "I asked you a question. Who are you?"

"I gave you an answer," said Tonks, her voice slow, but steady. "I... am... Harry... Pott-" She was cut off as the side of her head thunked against the concrete once more. 

"I'll ask you again..." hissed Bellatrix, her voice low and dangerous. 

Harry struggled futilely in the painful, vice-like grip of his captors. He was watching himself being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, the woman who had murdered Sirius. Yet, it was worse, because it _wasn't_ him, it was Tonks.

"Go ahead... ask me," said Tonks in Harry's voice, bright red blood trickling from her mouth and temple. "I'll give you the same answer, and you can continue bashing my head into the floor. Of course, V-Voldemort won't like it very much when he finds Harry Potter's brains splattered all over your boots."

"How dare you speak the Dark Lord's name!" Bellatrix screeched, jerking back Tonks's head hard. Before she could slam her face first into the floor, a blow that would surely result in the shattering of bone and possibly death, the Death Eater pinning Tonks down spoke up.

"Bella! Stop! This one isn't going to talk. He is probably using a polyjuice potion," said the Death Eater, his silky voice held a hint of anxiety. "Some perverted game of Potter's, I'm sure... it should wear off soon enough, and we will know for certain which is which."

Breathing hard, Bellatrix slowly lowered Tonks's head to the floor and let go of her hair. She rose, straightening her robes, and casting a contemptuous glance at the kneeling Death Eater. Without warning, she rounded on the two Death Eaters holding Harry. "Did you hear me? TIE HIM!"

***

Harry wriggled experimentally against the ropes that bound him to the concrete pillar. It was no use; the more he moved, the tighter the ropes became. _What are these things  made of, Devil's Snare?_

Tonks was bound to the pillar opposite him, barely conscious. What was it he had learned in first aid, way back in Muggle school? Something about head injuries and not letting someone with a possible concussion fall asleep....

"To- er, Harry!" he whispered as loud as he dared, hoping the Death Eaters, currently preoccupied with the crowd, wouldn't notice. "Harry! Wake up! You can't fall asleep."

"Wh-what? Harry?" Tonks muttered groggily. "Just... just let me... just let me rest for a minute."

"No, you can't!" Harry was alarmed by the sick looking purple splotches spreading across the right side of her face and the damp hair, thick with congealing blood, clinging to her forehead. He could tell she was badly hurt. _Badly hurt because of me_. "We have to figure out a way to get out of here."

 "Ok..."  Tonks drew a deep breath, then winced. 

Harry could see his wand. Bellatrix had set it on a table several meters away. He wondered if he could summon it to him like he did last summer when the Dementors attacked...

"_Accio_ wand!" rasped Tonks. Harry's wand flew towards her outstretched hand.

"How did..."  It was then that Harry noticed that Tonks not only had her own wand, but that she had worked her way free of the bindings. 

"No time to explain." she whispered._ "Diffindo!"  The ropes tying Harry to the pillar split and fell away.  She was on her feet and scrambling towards him. _

For a moment, Harry was completely petrified. How did Tonks get free? He shook off his bewilderment and leapt up from the floor. 

"This way!" Tonks tossed Harry his wand. He caught it, and followed her behind a curtain backstage. "We have to move quickly, before they notice we are gone."

Before he could respond, she was off again, down a dark corridor. In the distance, he could hear the shouts of Death Eaters and the shrill raving of Bellatrix Lestrange. They needed to find a way out and fast. 

A few quick turns later, and they arrived at a door. Tonks leaned against the frame, clutching the right side of her head, trying to catch her breath. 

"Are you alright?" She didn't look alright.

"I-I'm fine," she said, wincing. "Just – just a bump to the head, that's all. It's not as bad as it looks"

"I'm sorry. I- it's all my fault... if I hadn't-"

"Forget about it, Harry," she said, smiling weakly. "We'll do the post mortem later. Let's just get the hell out of here before they find us."

Harry tried the knob.  Locked. He could hear the Death Eaters again. They were getting closer. He reached for his wand. "_Alohomora," he whispered, and the door opened with a faint click. _

He quickly pushed it the rest of the way and ran out into the street. He was half-way down the road when he realized that Tonks wasn't following. _Bugger.__  When he looked back, she was leaning against the side of the building, clutching her head. _

"Tonks!" he yelled, running back towards her.

"I... go ahead Harry... I... I'll be there in just a minute." 

"The hell I will!" Harry grabbed her around the middle (which felt very different now that she was morphed to look like him) and pulled her away from the wall. "I'll carry you if I have to."

"No... you don't need to carry me," she said, straightening up. "My legs... I'm fine, it's just..."

"Your head." Harry pulled out his wand again. "_Reducto__ Doleo!"_

"Thanks," Tonks managed weakly. "You remembered."

"What can I say," he said. "You are an excellent teacher. Now, let's hurry."

Harry grabbed her hand and they both set off running. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of how they must look: two Harry Potters running down the darkened streets of Diagon Alley, hand in hand. 

After running aimlessly for a few minutes, he had no idea where they were or how to get back to the Leaky Cauldron. When they finally had to stop to catch their breaths, he tried to listen for the Death Eaters, but could hear nothing save the odd cat rummaging through a rubbish bin. 

"Do you know where we are?" he asked, turning to Tonks who was leaning against a street lamp. 

She shook her head. "Not sure, but I don't think we are in Diagon Alley."

Harry took in his surroundings. The buildings were in the Victorian style of Diagon Alley, but very dingy and rundown. Rubbish was heaped up near doorways and the windows were coated with soot. The whole place had an air of decay about it. "Maybe we're in Nocturne Alley?"

"No... no... I think this is Orthogon Alley. Bad neighborhood," she said, shivering slightly. "We need to find a place to hide out and contact the Order." 

Harry spotted a red light in the doorway of a taller, brick building. It looked like it might be a hotel. He couldn't quite make out what the sign said. "What about there?" 

Tonks looked skeptical for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders. "Worth a shot. Can't stay out here in any case. Bellatrix probably has her goons fanning out to look for us."

As they approached the building, Harry made out the sign: _Welcome Inn. Tentatively, he rang the bell. _

"May I help you gentlemen?" The sultry alto voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yes, please," said Harry. "My friend and I... we'd like a room for the night."

The door opened to reveal a colorfully dressed plump middle aged witch with ample bosoms spilling over a tightly cinched corset. She eyed them skeptically. It was then he remembered they both must look a fright. 

He glanced over at Tonks, face bloodied and bruised. Without looking at him, she wordlessly reached into the pocket of her baggy blue jeans and pulled out a handful of gold Galleons.

 "We'd like a room, please," she said, holding out the coins.

The witch's face brightened considerably as her gaudily bejeweled fingers closed around the bribe. "Of course, my dears! Come on in!" She led them into a well appointed foyer decorated with rich wall hangings and a crystal chandelier. The place was much nicer on the inside than it looked from the outside. 

 "Can I get you something to drink? Fire Whiskey? Champagne? Butter Beer?"

"Er... that's quite alright," said Harry. 

"Tea," said Tonks. "We'll take some nice, strong tea."

"Well, right this way then," she said, her smile just a little too broad.

The witch led them down a dimly lit corridor. The walls were covered with moving paintings of witches and wizards in various stages of undress engaged in acrobatic activities of a nature that made Harry quite sure his hotly burning cheeks must be lighting their way. "Here we are!" she said as the hallway opened into a sumptuously decorated parlor full of pneumatic silk upholstered furniture and scantily clad women. "Company, ladies!"

The women rose from their chaise lounges and poufs, eyeing Harry in a way that made him extremely uncomfortable. Some were dressed in bits of transparent cloth, others in very complicated leather gear. He felt his cheeks flush again and began staring very intently at the richly embroidered fleur-de-lis patterned carpet. He heard a gasp, some hushed whispers and amused tittering. When he heard his name, he looked up in surprise. 

"Harry Potter?" The plump witch who had answered the door, leaned towards him and squinted. "Well I never! Harry Potter..." Her smile got so wide, Harry thought her face might crack.

"They _both_ look like Harry Potter," gasped a blue eyed witch in a pale pink negligee. 

"Oh no," said Tonks, shaking her head. "No, we are just polyjuiced to look like Harry Potter. A bit of a lark, you see."

"Er, yeah," said Harry, as the women circled in like a flock of very colorful vultures. "I – I'm..." He couldn't very well use Neville's name again. Neville's gran wouldn't exactly be pleased to hear he had been seen in a house of ill repute. "I'm Draco Malfoy, and, um... this is my friend..." Harry grasped for a name. "My friend... my friend...  Blaise. Blaise Zabini."  

"A Malfoy! Well, anything you want love," cried the witch. "Call me Madam Matilda." She beamed at them, then turned to the women. "Line up girls, come on!" 

They began lining up, striking poses Harry assumed to be seductive in intent, but were really more comical than sexy. "Pick any one you like dear, don't be shy!"

"Er..." Harry looked to Tonks for guidance, but she just raised her eyebrows at him. He wasn't sure how to interpret that.  "Er... that's ok."

"Well if your taste runs towards –"

"Yes, we prefer each other's company," Tonks said, cutting off Madam Matilda and throwing an arm around Harry. "Right, Draco?"

"Right, T- er, Blaise," said Harry, a bit embarrassed, but taking comfort in the fact that it was Malfoy's reputation on the line, not his own. "So, um... we'll just take a room, please, Madam Matilda."

"One with a fireplace connected into the floo network," said Tonks, nodding. "Oh, and the tea, of course."

***

As soon as Madam Matilda closed the door behind her, Tonks sank heavily into the bed, clutching the side of her face.

"Is the spell wearing off?" Harry asked, sitting down beside her and placing a hand tentatively on her forehead, tracing the fake scar that was identical to his own. 

"Oh, just a bit," she said, with a half smile. "I'm alright, really. Just put your hand there, yes... just like that."

"What does that do?" His hand was pressed against the side of her purple blotched temple. 

"Nothing at all, it just feels nice," she said, closing her eyes. "You have nice hands."

Harry blushed slightly at the compliment. He wanted desperately to kiss her again, but she still looked like him, which gave him pause. "Er... thanks. Should we contact the Order?"

"Mmm... yes. Yes, we will. Just need to rest for a moment."

"Would you like some tea?" Harry asked, reaching for the kettle on the tea cart Madam Matilda had left in their room, but keeping a one hand pressed along the side of her face. "You can't fall asleep, you know. You might have a concussion. In first aid in Muggle school, they said that was bad."

"No... no... I'm not falling asleep. Just... just trying to regroup," she said.  "And yes... some tea would be nice. Thanks, Harry."

Harry poured them both cups of very strong, extra sweet tea. The alcohol had completely worn off and the full implications of the evening were beginning to hit him full force. First, there was the bit about getting drunk and making a move on Tonks. Not good. Then, the Death Eaters and their new ability to focus the Imperious curse to render hundreds of people at once virtual zombies. Even worse. Nearly getting both himself and Tonks killed. Possibly worst of all. 

"Here you are," he said, handing her a cup of tea as she righted herself on the bed. "It's funny looking at you when you look like me."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Tonks asked, closing her hands around his as she took her cup of tea. "Oh, never mind. I am sure it must. Sorry about that." 

She scrunched up her face, her expression more pained than usual during transformation. Rapidly she became smaller, softer. When she opened her eyes they were dark brown, as usual, though her hair was a coppery chestnut rather than the bright pinks and blues she usually wore.  Harry wondered if it was her real hair color, something he had never really thought about before. 

"Maybe... maybe a little," he admitted. "I... I appreciated what you tried to do for me earlier. I am sorry I messed things up." _Some Auror I'd make..._

"We're both still alive aren't we?" 

"Yes, but... I was so stupid to give us away like that," he said, looking away from her. "I lost my temper. I second guessed you. I just couldn't let you sacrifice yourself for me, and, well, I only succeeded in getting us both captured. I'm sorry."

"You can't always be the hero, Harry," she said, placing a finger on his chin and turning his face towards hers. The angry purple splotches were still there despite the transformation, which made him feel even worse. "And you can't keep beating yourself up about what has happened in the past. You learn from your mistakes so you don't make them again and you move on. Guilt is a wasted emotion."

"Yeah, well, we could have died," he said. 

"We could have... but we didn't. That's what's important. Of course, when you start training with Mad Eye, he'll tell you something completely different. He'll make you WISH you had died."

"So you've made mistakes like this?" he asked.

"Worse," said Tonks, her face much more somber than usual. "Actually, a friend of mine in Auror training did die. Not because of me directly, but... it's a dangerous job, I am not going to pretend otherwise, but if you are going to beat yourself up for every misstep, you'll never stand a chance. Besides... you've seen as much as me, probably more. Definitely more. I've never had to face down..." she trailed off.

"Go on..." She had said it earlier. When it really mattered, she had been able to say 'Voldemort'. 

"V-Voldemort," she managed with a shy, but triumphant smile.

He really liked her smile. He liked a lot of things about her. The way she was very straightforward with him, her sense of humor. She was pretty and cool and great to be around. He could talk to her about things he just wasn't ready to talk about with Ron or Hermione. She listened without over analyzing or trying to change the subject to cheer him up. She could be deadly serious, but she could also be very fun. 

Of course, she was also much older and probably thought he was a stupid kid. Especially now.  How could he just kiss her like that? It wasn't like him at all. It was just... he had felt so free, so caught up in the moment. For once he didn't care how stupid or crazy he might look and just went for it. It was like flying... but now... he didn't really know what to do or say. He just smiled stupidly back at her. 

"Well..." Tonks said, taking a long last sip of her tea. "Perhaps we should contact the Order."

Harry rose from the bed and walked over to the already lit marble fireplace at its foot. On the mantle sat a very intricately decorated silver box full of floo powder. He took a pinch, and tossed it into the flames. "Er," he said, turning towards Tonks, still seated on the bed. "Do you want to do this, or should I?

"I think perhaps we both should," she said, rising slowly from the bed and then kneeling down beside him. 

He got down on his knees next to her. They had to kneel very close together, shoulders touching in order to both fit inside the fireplace. "Ready?" she asked, turning her head towards him, their noses almost touching. 

"I think so," he said, surprising himself slightly by not looking away.

"Good," she said, biting her lip, but not making a move to stick her head in the fireplace. 

Emboldened, he leaned towards her until their foreheads were touching. She didn't pull away, which made him slightly giddy. "What are we going to tell them?"

"Everything," she said, then pulled away from him. "Well, almost everything." 

"Er, yes... of course," he said, turning to face the fire. "We won't tell them about..."

"Yeah," she said. "We won't tell them about _that."_

***

"So the Order had no idea the Death Eaters were able to do focused Unforgivables on large crowds?" Harry asked, once again slightly annoyed at being left out of the loop. 

"No, Harry, we had no idea," said Lupin quietly. His cheeks were hollow and his eyes held a sorrow Harry also shared. It was very painful to look at Lupin, so Harry turned to Moody, whose magical eye was lazily spinning.

"Snape is spying on Voldemort and the Death Eaters, isn't he?" Harry still held the suspicion that Snape might not be entirely on the side of the Order. "Why hadn't he said anything?"

"Are you implying Severus Snape might be a traitor, Harry?" Moody growled.

"Perhaps he didn't know," said Tonks, before Harry could respond. "He did save our lives."

"That was Snape?" Harry thought the Death Eater who had Tonks pinned to the floor sounded eerily familiar. "But... but he let that... that woman crack your skull against the floor." Harry didn't think his hatred for Snape could grow any stronger, but it just had.

"He also slid my wand up the sleeve of my jumper so we could escape, Harry," said Tonks. "What would you expect him to do? He couldn't exactly give himself away."

"But why was he there in the first place? Why didn't any of the Order know?" Harry asked, his voice rising slightly.

"Dumbledore trusts Severus Snape," said Moody gruffly. "That's good enough for me. Maybe he didn't know until he showed up."

"Yes, that is a good point. He may not have known. We only switched lessons this morning when I got the tickets. V-Voldemort doesn't always keep his followers in the loop, and Snape still has much to prove," said Tonks, stumbling slightly over Voldemort's name, but it still pleased Harry immeasurably that she was able to say it.

"Are you sure you should be saying so much in front of the boy?" asked Moody, his good eye fixed on Tonks. 

"Yes, Mad Eye," said Tonks, thrusting her chin out defiantly. "After what happened a few weeks ago, I think Harry has a right to know everything. In fact, I am going to talk to Dumbledore about letting him join the Order officially."

"He's just a kid," protested Moody, ignoring Harry's presence in the fireplace. 

"No, he is not," said Tonks, darting her eyes towards Harry, then back to Moody. "Harry has seen as much as any of us. I think it is only right after what he has been through and done. What I saw tonight proved to me that Harry is most definitely not 'just a kid'. He needs training and discipline, but he's as good as any Auror I have worked with."

Harry thought he might explode with pride at her words. Did she really mean that?

"I agree with Tonks as well, Alastor," said Lupin. "The more Harry knows, the more he is prepared. I was planning on approaching Dumbledore myself on the matter."

"You would do that?" Harry asked, looking to Tonks then Lupin.

"Absolutely," said Lupin, with a sad smile. "If Sirius were here, he would do the same. In fact, he did, and was voted down."

"Thanks," Harry managed weakly, his eyes stinging a bit at the reminder of Sirius being gone. 

Moody just shook his head. "Well, let's see what Dumbledore says first. For now, we have to figure out a way to get the two of you back here."

Harry thought that they would simply go through the fire to Grimmauld Place, but Dumbledore had set up wards to prevent anything more than communication. The only way to get there was to show up at the door or take a Portkey, which only Dumbledore himself as Secret Keeper for the Order could make. In the end, it was decided that the safest course of action was to stay at the Welcome Inn until someone could arrive with a Portkey. Moody gave them a whole list of wards and spells to put on the room and insisted they not open the door for anyone. Tonks promptly reminded him that if they didn't open the door for whoever came to get them, they would eventually starve to death. 

Harry was worried about Tonks's injuries, but both Lupin and Moody seemed to think she would be fine and suggested a couple more charms to help with the pain and swelling. Finally, after a few more last minute admonishments from Moody, they pulled their heads out of the fire.

Harry got to his feet, his knees a bit wobbly from being on the hard marble hearth of the fireplace. He held out his hand for Tonks, who looked a bit woozy. 

"Thanks, Harry," she said, taking his hand and rising shakily from the floor. "I hate floo powder. Always makes me dizzy."

"Me too," he said, truthfully. His own head was still spinning. 

"I suppose we just wait it out now. No telling how long it will take for someone to get here," she said, looking longingly at the pillow covered bed, her hand still in his. 

"You could take a nap, if you want," said Harry, acutely aware of the softness of her skin. "I could keep watch while you sleep."

Tonks began giggling.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, it's just... I am supposed to be the one watching _you_."

"You did say that you thought I should be in the Order," he said, looking slyly at her. "And you also said that you didn't think I was 'just a kid'."

"Yes," Tonks said. A hint of pink was spreading across her cheeks. "Yes I did, and I meant it."

"About what happened earlier... before the Death Eaters showed up and interrupted everything..." Harry trailed off, not sure how to continue. He didn't know if he should simply apologize and forget about the whole thing or give in to the sudden urge throw her on the bed and snog her senseless. She _did_ say she liked kissing him... she also said she didn't think he was 'just a kid'.  

Tonks let go of his hand, folded her arms across her chest, and sighed. "Yeah, that... I..." 

"I'm really sorry, Tonks," he said, disappointed that she had pulled away. 

"No, no need to apologize, Harry," she said softly, and began pacing the floor at the foot of the bed. "If anyone should apologize, it is me. I was completely unprofessional. Professor McGonagall trusted me to take you out on an educational field trip. I had to plead and make all kinds of promises to her about your safety before she grudgingly allowed it. Despite all of that, I go and let you get completely pissed, snogged and kidnapped by Death Eaters."

"Well, if you don't view me as a kid, then none of that can possibly be your fault," Harry said, putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "I got myself pissed on my own, I am the one who snogged you first, AND it's my fault we both got kidnapped by Death Eaters because, as you say, I had to play the hero. Besides, didn't you say that guilt is a wasted emotion? That we should learn from our mistakes and move on? Not that I think you made any mistakes, of course."

She pulled away from him and began pacing again.

"I just... despite what I may think of you or what you can handle -- and I am not just talking about Death Eaters and Dark Lords here --  I am still supposed to be teaching you, even though the circumstances are, I admit, quite unusual. You are still at Hogwarts. I am still entrusted with your care, no matter how much I think the notion is silly considering we are all in _your care." _

"So..." he began, slightly confused at her words. "So, you are saying that you don't think I am a kid, but because _I am a kid, it is wrong for me to kiss you? Because... well, that's rather contradictory, you know."_

"No, that's not it." Her pacing grew more frantic. "Not quite, anyway. I mean... what are we supposed to do, date each other? Clear it with McG or Dumbledore, get permission to take you places? Meet you at the Three Broomsticks on the occasional Hogsmeade weekend and hope to Merlin none of your teachers or classmates sees us? Sneak into your room at night at the Dursleys? "

"Well, to be honest, I wouldn't complain in the slightest if you did that last one. Even if it was just to keep me company with no snogging at all," he said, slightly exasperated. "Look, Tonks, I really, really like you. I've this mad crush on you ever since you showed up that first day back in June to tell me I was a Metamorphmagus, just like you. I've been so alone, so cut off... but I could talk to you. My lessons with you have been the best thing about this summer. 

"There are times..." he paused for a moment, willing himself not to get choked up. "There are times this whole prophecy thing, Sirius being gone, Ron and Hermione being busy with each other, my stupid relatives, not to mention the bloody Occlumency lessons with Snape, are just... just impossible to take. The one thing that has got me through it all is the thought that in another day or two I'd get to see you again, learn some cool new trick, and maybe have a laugh. I also knew that if I was feeling really down, you'd listen to me. That's something I really, really needed, and I don't think I ever thanked you for that. So... thank you, Tonks."

Tonks stopped mid-step, spun around to face him, tripping and falling forward. Before she could fall to the floor, Harry caught her around the waist and pulled her towards him. She looked up in surprise. "You're welcome, Harry, I..."

Before she could finish her sentence, Harry impulsively pressed his lips against hers. He was met with very little resistance, her lips parting to allow him to kiss her fully. Waves of warmth and brightness and electricity pulsed through him. Kissing Tonks was nothing like kissing Cho. 

Tonks tore her lips away from his, panting. Her lips were red and swollen, her pupils so dilated her dark eyes looked nearly black. "That's not fair..."

"What's not fair?"

"Kissing like that... I can't think when you do that. Kissing is not an argument."

"Well I don't think it is fair that you think I am not a kid when it comes to fighting evil wizards, but I am a kid when it comes to... when it comes to..." Harry wasn't sure what to call it. Would Tonks be his girlfriend? He kind of liked the idea, but thought it might be too forward. 

"When it comes to what, Harry?" she asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed, folding her arms across her chest. 

"I... just forget it," he said, losing his nerve. "I am sorry about the whole thing.  Let's just sit here and wait around to be rescued."

"Yes," she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. "Let's just forget it."

~~~~~~~

**A/N:** Thanks again for all of the feedback... it is greatly appreciated and has been extremely useful to me as a writer. Please let me know what you think, even if you hated it :)


	3. A Girl Like You

**Disclaimer: **It's not mine.

**Rating:** PG-13 for rub dub dub, three girls in a tub

**A/N: **A big thank you to Abigail89 for the beta read, Archchancellor for the Brit picking, all my reviewers for their feedback and my Live Journal friends list for listening to my wibbles. Part IV is already underway; chapter updates will be more frequent from now on. This chapter is dedicated to Tonks, boys with nice bums and good friends who tell it like it is. 

**Birthday Boy, Part III **

**_A Girl Like You_**

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

She couldn't forget it. No matter how hard she tried, it was looming there in the darkness between them as she watched him sleeping fitfully over the shoulder of her reflection in the vanity mirror. 

Tonks had let Harry take the first watch, though she found herself unable to sleep. Between Harry's pacing, her own apprehension over what they had witnessed that evening and the... whatever it was between them, sleep was out of the question. _Why, oh why do I get myself into these kinds of scrapes?_

McGonagall... she was going to be positively furious with her. Anything that wasn't already in the lesson plan was going to be strictly forbidden, she was sure of it. Not that the Death Eaters showing up was _her_ fault, of course, but... the whole thing could have been handled much, much differently. _If Snape hadn't been there..._ At least McGonagall wouldn't know what went on before... or after. _Bugger._Why did he have to be so... so...? 

_Don't focus on that_, she told herself, _focus on what has to be done_. Hundreds of people, under the Imperious Curse... a complete and total nightmare. How were they to ever track them all down? A simple _Finite Incantium_ by a powerful enough witch or wizard, but finding them all.... Tonks had a feeling she would be spending the next several weeks slinking around hedgerows and rubbish bins. At least there would be some respite for her... the lessons with Harry... 

_Don't go there_, a voice inside her head chided, _that's a very bad place_. Her eyes wandered over to Harry, growing even more restless in his sleep. _But such a lovely place to visit... _

_Grrrr__..._ Tonks turned resolutely back to her own reflection. _Focus_. Pink and spiky. _Focus_. Green and curly. _Focus_. Straight and black. It was a silly game she had invented to practice her Metamorphmagus skills as a girl, but it provided her with a much needed distraction. _Focus_. Lavender spirals. _Focus_. Brunette and shiny. _Focus._ Long and red. _Foc__-_

Harry was saying something now, something she couldn't quite make out. He must be dreaming... She turned away from the mirror to find him tossing more violently now. She wondered if she should wake him. 

"No... no... not..." Harry mumbled, his voice growing louder. "You can't.. I won't... not him... no... NO!" The last was a shout. His eyes flew open, staring wildly, blindly without his glasses. 

Tonks rushed to the bed, placing her hands firmly on his shoulders to stop his shaking. "It's ok Harry... just a nightmare, just a nightmare."

His eyes were still wild and staring. His breaths came in ragged gasps, but he didn't speak. "It's ok, I'm here. It's just me, Tonks." She sat down on the bed, smoothing a hand across his damp forehead. "Everything is ok."

"No... Ron..." Harry whispered, still gasping for air. "She took him... and he was gone... all my fault..."

"Who took him?" Tonks asked.

"_Her_," he said, swallowing hard. "It was _her_."

That was all the answer Tonks needed. "Harry..."

When he wrapped his arms around her waist, she didn't protest. She simply held him. She knew he had nightmares. She knew he had witnessed the attack on Arthur Weasley first hand, but the full weight of it all hadn't really sunk in until now, seeing him like this. He buried his face against the space between her neck and shoulder, his body shaking. She stroked his hair and caressed his back. He said nothing at first, just held her tighter around her middle. "I don't want him to die because of me."

"Shhh... it's ok, Harry, just a dream. Ron is fine. I saw him just this morning."

Tonks didn't know how long she sat there or when she herself eventually fell asleep, Harry's face pressed against her shoulder, his hands tangled in her long, red hair. All she knew was that it wasn't what it looked like.

"My, isn't this.... _interesting_," came the silky voice that jolted her awake.

Tonks's eyes flew open... _of all the people they could have sent..._ "It's not what it looks like," she said quickly, disentangling herself from a still soundly sleeping Harry. "It's not what you think."

"I am quite sure, _Nymphadora_, that you have no idea what it looks like or what I _think_," Snape drawled, his face contorted into an odd grimace. He held the handle of a small copper tea kettle in a white knuckled grip. 

_Well bugger_. "Wake up," she said, nudging Harry gently. "Someone has come to collect us at last."

"Wha- who?" Harry said blearily as he began feeling blindly around for his glasses.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," Snape sneered with self-satisfied smirk. "Can't stay out of trouble, now can we, Potter?"

Harry's face instantly hardened.

"_Accio_ glasses," Snape said. "I believe you were looking for these?"

Harry shot from the bed, and snatched the glasses from Snape's hand, knocking the tea kettle to the floor. "Why thank you, _Professor_, indeed I was," Harry said evenly, looking Snape directly in the eye. "It seems as though you've dropped your kettle." Neither made a move to retrieve it.

Tonks slid quietly from the bed and collected the tea kettle. "Well, then... I guess we best be off," she said in what she knew to be a falsely cheery voice. "Thank you, Professor Snape for coming to our rescue. This is the Portkey, right?"

"Indeed," said Snape, not taking his eyes off Harry's. 

"We've, um, we've left our brooms at the Leaky Cauldron," Tonks said. "Someone will need to collect them."

"Mundugus Fletcher is taking care of that for you," said Snape, turning to fix his beetle black gaze on her. "Let us hope you get them back in one piece."

***

They arrived at Grimmauld Place to find Professor McGonagall sitting stiffly at the kitchen table, sipping tea through pursed lips, waiting for them. "Severus," she said, inclining her head. "Miss Tonks, Mister Potter."

"G-good morning, Professor McGonagall," Tonks stammered nervously. Though she knew Minnie McG was an old softy at heart, the whole situation brought back too many memories of well earned detentions and House points being taken. 

"Morning, Professor," Harry mumbled.

"You'll be interested to know, Professor--" Snape began.

"I'll be interested to know whatever you have to say later," she said, cutting him off. "Professor Dumbledore will be here soon, and I am sure we will get your full report in the meeting. For now, I would like to speak to Miss Tonks. Alone, if you don't mind, Severus."

"Professor, I can explain--" said Harry.

"You can explain later, Potter," said McGonagall tersely. "For now I think it best that you join Mister Weasley upstairs until after the meeting."

"Harry was there, Professor," said Tonks, bristling at Harry being shunted aside like a child yet again. "I think he ought to be in the meeting."

"I am well aware of your opinion on the matter, Tonks," said McGonagall, "but that is not for you or I to decide. Off with you, Potter."

"Professor--"

"And you as well, Severus."

Tonks watched as Snape and Harry, scowling at one another, exited the kitchen.

"Now tell me what_ really_ happened," said Professor McGonagall. "From the beginning."

Tonks sank into a chair, sighing heavily. "What have you heard?"

"I heard there were two Harry Potters traipsing about Diagon Alley yesterday evening and that the two of them spent the night in a whorehouse. I want an explanation."

"It's like this, Professor..."

Tonks told the whole story. Or rather, most of it. When she had finally finished, McGonagall was still pursing her lips. 

"Unbelievable," she said finally. "You were both very lucky Professor Snape was there. I will need to have a word with Potter, though I understand perfectly how this happened."

"Yes, Professor," Tonks said, relieved she wasn't furious, but feeling a bit guilty for not telling the whole story. 

A knock at the door indicated the arrival of Professor Dumbledore, and the Order meeting was set to begin. Everyone began filing quietly into the kitchen, even more somber than usual; even Fred and George Weasley, who had recently joined the Order against the protests of their mother, spoke in hushed whispers. To Tonks's dismay, Severus Snape sat in the chair directly across from her. He was scowling, but then, he was always scowling. Tonks had never known him to be in a good mood, not as a student in his Potions class and certainly not now as a fellow Order member. She never got the impression that he disliked her any more than he disliked everyone in general, though after this morning she wasn't so sure. Fellow Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt took the seat to Tonks's right, much to her relief. 

"Tough job ahead of us, eh?" said Kingsley, 

Tonks nodded.

"Are you doing alright? I heard about what happened," Kingsley said quietly. "You look a little roughed up."

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Just a few bruises is all," whispered Tonks. "Too bad we couldn't stop them."

"Well, from what I heard--"

"This meeting will come to order," said Professor Dumbledore from the head of the table, stopping all conversations mid-whisper. His usually twinkling blue eyes looked very tired as he gazed at the assembled Order members over his half-moon spectacles. "I have summoned you all here because there has been an incident. The consequences of which could be disastrous if we do not act quickly. Severus Snape and Nymphadora Tonks were both witnesses to the events of last night, which I am sure you have all heard about by now. Both Professor Snape and Miss Tonks will give a full report; after which, we will go to questions and then special assignments. Any issues regarding items from the previous meeting will have to wait until the regular meeting Sunday evening. Objections?"

No one was about to cross Professor Dumbledore. "Well, then," he continued, "Severus?"

Snape rose from his chair with an air of self-importance and cleared his throat. "Yesterday afternoon I was summoned to Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire along with eighteen of the Dark Lord's most trusted associates. I was informed that we would be appearing at a concert that very evening to deploy a secret weapon the Dark Lord himself had recently discovered: a device that would allow many wizards at once to work in unison to focus and then amplify a spell for use on hundreds, possibly thousands, of people at one time. In this case, we were to use a stunning spell to disarm hundreds of people simultaneously and bring them under the command of the Dark Lord by way of _Imperio_. As you have all probably heard by now, this plan was, for the most part, successful. Everyone in attendance at the Weird Sisters concert yesterday evening at the Screaming Banshee, with the exception of Nymphadora Tonks and Harry Potter, is now under the control of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters."

"Excuse me, Severus," interrupted Hestia Jones, a pretty witch in her early thirties who had clearly never suffered the misfortune of Severus Snape as a Potions instructor. "You mentioned that you were summoned to Malfoy Manor. I was under the impression that Lucius Malfoy himself was currently in Azkaban."

"Indeed, that is correct," said Snape with an air of impatience. "Lucius Malfoy is currently in Azkaban, however, his sister-in-law and second cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, has stewardship over the Manor at present."

"But what about Narcissa?" asked Emmeline Vance. "We were school friends. She's not..."

"Narcissa has fled the country," answered Snape, not quite meeting her eyes. "I have no idea of her whereabouts."

"But what of the boy?"

"Draco... ah yes. He is being looked after," said Snape. "Continuing on... we arrived at the specified time. Everything went as planned –"

"Excuse me, _Professor_," said Remus Lupin, "This device you spoke of earlier, what is it, exactly?"

"If you don't mind, _Lupin_," Snape began, not bothering to conceal his loathing. "I would like to continue without interruption. However, to answer your question, I did not see the device; Bellatrix kept it on her person and out of my view the entire time."

"So the device only need be present to focus the magic, the spell casters need not direct their spells at the object?"

"That appears to be the case," said Snape, through gritted teeth. "If you do not mind, may I please continue?"

"Of course," said Remus. "Please go on."

"Thank you," said Snape, "as I was saying before being interrupted, everything went as planned. The crowd was incapacitated with the focused _Stupefy_, and put under the control of the Dark Lord with the amplified Imperious curse."

As Snape was speaking, a thought occurred to Tonks. Normally, when someone was put under the Imperious curse, they were subject to the whims of that specific spell caster – the person who put them under the curse. However, in this case, with many spell casters...

"Professor Snape," Tonks interrupted without thinking. "Who exactly is controlling the individuals under the Imperious curse? I mean, since there were many of you and..." Snape glared at her menacingly. She regretted her words almost as soon as they were spoken. 

"You will get your chance to speak once I am finished, _Nymphadora_."

"Sure thing, _Sevvie_," said Tonks, finding satisfaction in Snape's wince. If he was going to play the name game, she would too. "I was just curious as to whether or not these people under the control of V-Voldemort or someone else."

"I refuse to answer your question until the end." Snape was clearly becoming quite angry. "No more interruptions. These people are under the control of the Dark Lord."

"Directly or indirectly?"

"As I was saying..."

"Severus," interrupted Professor Dumbledore, his voice holding the slightest hint of amusement. "If you don't mind, I would be interested in the answer to that one myself."

"I- I'm not completely sure," said Snape, looking decidedly uncomfortable. "Bellatrix gave the actual orders to those under the Imperious curse, though we certainly all cast the spell."

"What exactly did she order them to do?" asked Kingsley. He was a top notch Auror, and Tonks could almost see the gears turning in his head, calculating their next move.

"To await further instruction," said Snape with a sigh. 

"In other words, you have no idea then," said Molly Weasley from somewhere outside of Tonks's view. "You have no idea what You-Know-Who has planned."

"That is correct; I do not know what he has planned."

"Forgive me, Severus," said Arthur Weasley, "but aren't you in his inner circle?"

"If you would all let me continue, then I could _explain._"

"Go ahead, Severus," said Dumbledore with a benign smile. "No more interruptions until you are finished. You have our full attention."

"Thank you, Headmaster," said Snape, straightening his robes and tucking a strand of greasy black hair behind his ear. "Those who had been put under the Imperious curse began lining up. Bella correctly guessed that there may be others in the building. She wanted to get them too, at the very least so there would be no witnesses. It was at this time that we heard a _disturbance_. Much to our surprise, upon investigation, we discovered two Harry Potters crouched behind the bar. 

"Now, I knew that Potter and Tonks were planning on attending this concert as Tonks herself asked to trade lessons with me that very day for that very purpose. I was unable to send word once learning of the plans for that evening; however, I did not see either of them in the crowd and assumed they had left early. I was, quite obviously, mistaken."

Snape continued on, explaining how Bellatrix ordered both Harry and Tonks restrained and questioned, painting them both in the worst light possible. "Of course, Potter went and nearly gave them both away by rising to Bella's very obvious bait. Had I not been there, Tonks would have surely been killed. However, I intervened just in time to save them both, slipping Tonks's wand up her sleeve, at great risk to myself, I might add. They managed to get away, as you can see, however, Bellatrix now suspects I had something to do with it. Which of course, I did.

"Once we arrived back at Malfoy Manor, it was made clear to me that I was 'under suspicion' and that Bella herself would be keeping a very close eye on me. As some of you may know, Lucius Malfoy was my connection to the Dark Lord himself. With Lucius currently residing in Azkaban, and Bella as the Dark Lord's current favorite, I find myself more and more outside of the inner circle. Of course, thanks to Potter and Tonks, I may not be part of any circle at all.

"As soon as I could manage it, I arrived here at Order headquarters, only to be handed a Portkey and told to go fetch _her_-" Snape jerked his head towards Tonks. "and Potter from, of all places, a _whorehouse_ in Orthogon Alley. I arrived to find them in bed together, much to my surprise." Snape paused there, allowing gasps and whispers to break out around the table, along with a couple of wolf whistles and a 'way to go Harry!' from Fred and George Weasley. Tonks used all of the Metamorphmagus powers she possessed to keep her burning cheeks from glowing bright pink. She wanted to sink underneath the table and hide, but she didn't dare show any sign that Snape was getting to her. 

"Every teenage boy's fantasy, I am sure," said Professor Dumbledore with a wink at Tonks. "Though perhaps not being discovered by one's Potions Master. However, I am quite certain it was completely innocent. Am I right, Miss Tonks?"

"Y-yes, Headmaster. Professor Snape failed to mention that we were both fully clothed, still wearing shoes even. Harry awoke from a terrible nightmare in which Bellatrix Lestrange..." Tonks trailed off, not wanting to upset Molly. "In which Bellatrix Lestrange took from him someone he cared for very much. I comforted him. We both fell asleep. That was it." 

"The poor dear," sniffed Molly. "Any of us would have done the same, I am sure." Many around the table were daubing their eyes and casting pitying glances towards Remus. The death of Sirius was still fresh on everyone's mind, and that must be who they all assumed she was talking about. 

"Yes," said Tonks quietly, feeling terribly guilty. She was quite sure that Mrs. Weasley would not have snogged the poor dear little Harry Potter or let him get completely pissed, but comforting him after a nightmare was indeed perfectly innocent. 

"Anything else, Severus?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

"Er, no, Headmaster," answered a slightly cowed Snape. "That is all."

It was now Tonks's turn to tell her version of events. Many were impressed that she could make herself pass for another person without using a polyjuice potion. Metamorphmagi were so rare, only one or two in a generation, that most people had no idea what the extent of her powers really were. She got all of the inevitable questions, but it was Fred Weasley who asked the one question she knew most people were dying to ask, but almost never did out of embarrassment. "Yes, Fred, I can change that too if need be."

"Does it work?" asked George Weasley.

"Fred! George!" gasped Molly Weasley, completely horrified. 

"It's ok, Molly," said Tonks, unblushingly. "I'm used to questions. Does it work? The literature on the subject says yes."

"Wicked," breathed Fred and George together, both clearly impressed.

"Ahem, well," said Dumbledore. "Shall we go to special assignments, then?"

Tonks was grateful to sink down in her chair while everyone chattered around her. She would have to give a full debriefing to Madam Bones in the morning, but Kingsley offered to cover for her at the office that afternoon while she caught up on some much needed rest. They really couldn't do much anyway until they could figure out who was at the concert. It was going to be an utter nightmare. 

When everyone began filing out of the kitchen, Tonks rose from her chair and headed towards the door, only to be stopped by McGonagall. "Tonks, Professor Dumbledore and I would like a word with you."

"Sure, Professor," said Tonks, fearing a reprimand after Snape's telling of events. 

"You too, Kingsley," said McGonagall. "Oh, and Severus and Remus as well. Albus?"

"Yes, Minerva," called Professor Dumbledore from near the door where he had been in deep conversation with Mad Eye Moody. "I am ready, if you could have someone go fetch Harry."

"I'll get him," growled Mad Eye. 

Tonks sat down along with the others at one end of the table. They all looked as confused as she was. When Mad Eye returned with Harry in tow, Tonks felt her heart leap up somewhere near the region of her tonsils. Just as she had managed to wrestle her inner fourteen year old into submission, Harry sat down in the empty chair beside her.

"How did it go?" Harry whispered, his breath tickling her ear and making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "What do they want me here for? Am I in trouble?"

"It went ok, I think," Tonks whispered back. "I'll tell you all about it later. I have no idea what they want. If anyone is in trouble, it would be me."

"You didn't tell them..."

"No, of course not, but-"

"I'll make this quick," said McGonagall, cutting Tonks off mid-whisper. "There has been a small change in plans for Mister Potter's summer lessons in light of recent events."

Harry looked mutinous. "Professor, really it's-" 

"It's not what you think, Harry," said Professor Dumbledore, gently. "We've decided that it would be best to accelerate your lessons. I have taken the liberty of contacting your family and letting them know that you will be spending the remainder of the summer holiday here. You will still be having lessons with Aurors Tonks and Kingsley for your Metamorphmagus and Stealth and Tracking studies, however, from now on you will accompany them on their Auror duties. You will still have Occlumency and Advanced Transfiguration with Professors Snape and McGonagall, but you will take those lessons here at Grimmauld Place until the fall term begins. Remus Lupin will continue to teach you Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, but that will be on hold for the moment until he can ready you to pass the test for your Apparition license."

Harry stared at Professor Dumbledore in shocked silence for a moment before speaking. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, Harry, I am not kidding."

"Headmaster, if I could speak for a moment," said Snape.

"You may, Severus."

"Are you sure this is such a good idea, all things considered? Besides, Potter hasn't received his OWL results yet, for all we know he won't even qualify for the required classes for an Auror track. Then there is the matter of the danger he will be in." Snape's mouth twisted into a grotesque smirk that made Tonks want to strangle him right where he sat. "Especially with _her_. They nearly got themselves killed. If I hadn't-"

"I believe Tonks and Harry have learned a valuable lesson. I do not fear for their safety," said Dumbledore, peering steadily at Snape over his glasses. "And neither should you, Severus."

"Potter will be in every single required class, if I have anything to do with it," said Professor McGonagall. "And believe me, I do."

"Headmaster-"

"I've made my decision." Dumbledore's voice held a kind of finality not even Snape would dare question.

"I think this is an excellent idea, Professor," said Kingsley. "There was really only so much we could do sneaking around Little Whinging. Harry is making excellent progress, and I think he'll make an excellent Auror." 

"Er, excuse me, Professor Dumbledore," said Remus quietly. "There is also the matter of letting Harry join the Order proper. We talked about this before, and I know that you were against it, but..."

"We shall see, Remus," said Professor Dumbledore cryptically. "Harry and I will discuss this later in private."

"Professor Dumbledore," said Harry defiantly. "I would like to discuss this now, if you don't mind."

"I do mind," said Professor Dumbledore. "Please be patient with an old man, Harry. There are many factors to consider, factors you are not aware of and I am not at liberty to discuss at this time."

They spent another ten minutes hashing out the details. Dumbledore, it seemed, had already gotten clearance with Madam Bones. Though after what had happened just a few short weeks ago, the Ministry was pretty much willing to do whatever Dumbledore asked. Tonks would spend the night at Grimmauld Place, and Harry would accompany her to the Ministry in the morning. He would then spend the day with Kingsley and herself as they did some legwork on tracking down the unlucky concert attendees.

Finally, it was all over and they were free to leave, much to Tonks's relief. She needed a nice hot bath, a long nap and some time to decompress after everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. She was very glad she kept an extra few changes of clothes at Grimmauld place.

"Hey, Tonks," said Harry, looking a little nervous as he caught up with her on the stairs after the meeting. "Can we talk for a minute, alone?"

"Er, of course, Harry," said Tonks. "I was just going to grab a towel and some clothes and hop in the bath. You can come with me up to my room if you like."

"Thanks, I could use a bath myself," said Harry, not quite looking at her. "Not that, um, that um... well, I just wanted to hear about the meeting and maybe, er, well..."

"I'll tell you all about it," said Tonks, smiling at him in spite of herself. 

Once they were safely inside of Tonks's room, she told him about everything that had transpired. As expected, he was completely furious with Snape. She could almost feel the anger radiating off of him as she described Snape's telling of events. 

"That nasty git, I swear I'll..."

"Don't waste your anger on him," said Tonks. "He's not worth it. Really, you should pity him. No one that bitter will ever be happy. Besides, he probably hasn't had a decent shag in years."

"I really could have done without that mental picture." Harry said, twisting his face into a horrible grimace "I suppose you are right though, it's just, grrrr."

"Yeah, I know," said Tonks, placing a hand on Harry's knee without even thinking. "But if it makes you feel any better, I got him all riled up and everyone pretty much thought him an arse for insinuating-" She jerked her hand away, realizing that what Snape had insinuated was, in fact, quite true.

"For insinuating there was something more between us other than you being my tutor, you mean?" 

"Um, yeah... that."

"Is there?" He looked almost hopeful. 

_Don't make me answer that. Don't look at me like that either. _"I don't know," she mumbled under her breath. 

Much to Tonks's relief, there was a knock at the door before Harry could ask her to repeat herself. "Tonks, you in there? It's me, Hermione."

"Come on in," Tonks called, leaping from her seat on the bed next to Harry. 

"Hey Tonks," said Hermione, leaning in for a hug. "We've got the basement bath all fixed up. It's almost as nice as the Prefects' bath at Hogwarts. Ginny and I were wondering if-" She stopped speaking mid-sentence as she caught sight of Harry, now standing in the middle of the room. "Oh, hi Harry. Didn't know you were in here. Ron is looking for you."

"That's nice," said Harry stiffly. "I was just on my way out."

"He's really worried about you, you know, we both are," said Hermione. "He said you wouldn't tell him anything about what happened."

"Everyone else has heard the whole story by now, ask one of them." Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, see you both later," he said, brushing past the two of them, but looking at neither as he exited the room. 

"What has gotten into him?" Hermione asked as Tonks gathered up her bath things. 

"Er, well, you know, he's had a rough time of it lately." Tonks knew that Harry was upset about Ron and Hermione getting together, but she suspected there was more to it than that. 

"I know that, it's just..." Hermione sighed. "It's like he's avoiding us. I don't understand it. He won't talk about anything that happened at the end of the term. We are supposed to be his best friends, but he barely answers our letters. He was quiet and brooding after, well, you know... but it's like he just doesn't want to talk about it."

"Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it," said Tonks with a shrug. Harry had indeed shared some things with her, though she never pried as she didn't feel it was her place. She knew he probably just wanted to vent when he felt like it and brood when he felt like it, and after all that had happened, she felt he was entitled. "Maybe you shouldn't say anything, but if he wants to talk, just let him. Sometimes being a friend means stepping back"

Hermione looked extremely incredulous at this piece of advice. "I suppose you might be right. You've seen Harry quite a bit this summer, haven't you?"

"A couple times a week for his lessons," said Tonks.

"Does he ever talk about anything? I just feel like..."

"You can't solve all of his problems, Hermione," said Tonks, throwing her arm around the younger girl's shoulders. "Now how about that bath?"

****

"Oh Merlin, that feels so good," Hermione moaned. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"Dean's mum," said Ginny. "She does massage therapy. It's like magic. You'd almost think she was a witch. She has a little shop in London."

"I think I'll have to stop by sometime," said Tonks, floating lazily on her back amongst the bubbles in the warm lavender scented water. She closed her eyes and let the tension seep out through her skin. "How's it going with Dean, anyway?"

"It's going great. He's really, really nice," said Ginny. "Really cute too. I love his family. Dean and I are going to meet up in Diagon Alley tomorrow. He actually lives nearby, you know. Dean says he passed by the Leaky Cauldron at least a hundred times as a kid, always noticing the funny looking people going inside. He said he was always drawn to it, but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine what was on the other side."

"Dean is a Muggleborn, then?" asked Tonks. Her own father was a Muggleborn, had a Muggle job as a newsreader for something called the Bee Bee See in fact, though Tonks herself wasn't sure what all that meant. 

"Yes," said Ginny. "Dad pummels him with all kinds of crazy questions when he visits the Burrow. It's very embarrassing, though at least he likes Dean. Ron still doesn't trust him, but I have no idea why. I always thought they were friends."

Hermione laughed. "I think Ron is still sore over it being Dean, not Harry, giving his baby sister attention."

"Well, Harry had his chance, didn't he?" said Ginny huffily.

"Oh?" sputtered Tonks, nearly inhaling a lungful of perfumed bath water. 

"Ginny had the biggest crush on Harry for the longest." Hermione giggled. "Though I admit I harbored a feeling or two for him myself at one time."

"Well, I am totally over him now," said Ginny nonchalantly. "Besides, Dean has a much nicer bum."

This sent both girls into fits of giggles, and allowed Tonks to regain her composure. She wondered what Hermione and Ginny might think of her own not-so-platonic feelings for Harry, but decided to keep that to herself. "Everybody loves Harry, then?"

"Well, not everybody," said Hermione, reaching for a towel on the edge of the bath. "But he is quite popular with the girls and a few of the boys as well. Not that he notices, mind. It's really rather funny. I think half of the girls joined the D.A. last year just for an excuse to be around Harry on a regular basis."

"Including Cho, yecch," said Ginny, wrinkling her freckled nose.

"I kind of felt sorry for her, in a way," said Hermione thoughtfully. "Not that I thought she was the best girl for Harry, but at least he got all of that out of his system."

"Who would be the best girl for Harry, you think?" asked Tonks, trying to keep her tone casual. 

"Hmmm..." said Hermione, as she began wrapping the towel around her damp hair. "Someone really smart and mature..."

"And pretty," said Ginny.

"Well, I suppose Harry would like that, but prettiness would be secondary. Cho was certainly very pretty, after all," said Hermione. "I think she would have to be someone really strong. Someone who would understand what Harry is up against."

"She'd have to be very powerful magically," said Ginny. "Prepared for anything."

"Yes," said Hermione. "Prepared for anything. But also... someone who could watch out for him. Take care of him, because sometimes I think he doesn't really know how to take care of himself. The right girl, no... the right _woman_ for Harry would be like a lover, mother, girlfriend, sister and best friend all rolled into one."

"Have any candidates in mind yet?" asked Tonks.

Ginny laughed. "Hermione is still working on the application. It's a tough job being Harry's girlfriend." Ginny said with mock seriousness. "Very demanding. Must be brave enough to face Death Eaters."

"And Dark Lords," said Hermione.

"Don't forget my mother," countered Ginny.

"Of course not," said Hermione. "Then, there is the matter of the press."

"And not being jealous of Harry's female best friend," said Ginny.

"Or the Quidditch," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "Must not get upset about the time he spends obsessing over Quidditch."

"Sure you aren't talking about my brother?" Ginny giggled, playfully splashing Hermione with sudsy water.

"Him too... but..." Hermione looked very thoughtful for a moment. 

"Would you like to submit a résumé?" Ginny asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Er..." said Tonks.

"I wish I could find Harry a girl like you, Tonks," said Hermione. "Only younger, of course."

***

A very clean and floral scented Nymphadora Tonks tossed restlessly on the bed, beating her poor pillow into woeful submission. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry over Hermione's comment. _Only younger, of course._It wasn't like Tonks was an old lady by any stretch of the imagination. She could look sixteen if she wanted to. She certainly_ felt_ sixteen with this silly school girl crush.

Tonks managed to nap for a while, though she kept having disturbing dreams about Death Eaters terrorizing people while she stood there frozen, unable to do anything to help. When she wasn't dreaming about Death Eaters, she was dreaming about Harry, and that was no good either. Well, it was good, but was also bad. Very, very bad. 

When she awoke, it was quite dark outside, just a single shaft of light from a flickering street lamp shown through the window. A rumble in her belly indicated she'd best find something to eat and soon, though she guessed dinner was long past. Much to her relief, on the way down the stairs she ran into Ginny who informed her that everyone staying the night was having a late supper of tea and sandwiches in the drawing room. 

"Not having any yourself?" Tonks asked, stretching her sore arms above her head and nearly knocking the portrait of one of her long dead ancestors off the wall in the process. 

"Well, hmmph! In _my_ generation, ladies did not flail their arms about in such shameful fashion," chided an elderly, sour looking witch in an ugly purple bonnet. "They certainly did dress like-" 

"Yeah, yeah grandma," said Tonks cutting her off as she righted the portrait.

"No," said Ginny, coloring slightly beneath her freckles while granny wailed on. "I'm going to find a quiet place to floo up Dean for a chat."

"In _my_ day-"

"Sounds lovely," said Tonks. "I can't wait to meet him. I'll probably be in Diagon Alley tomorrow on Auror business, so we might run into one another"

"-flooing up a _boy_-"

"That would be really nice," said Ginny. "Goodnight, Tonks."

"'Night!"

Upon entering the drawing room, Tonks felt her innards turn a little summersault when she spied Harry sitting all alone near the fire. She tried not to look at him, and instead grabbed a sandwich off the tea cart. She was quite surprised to see Professor Dumbledore still there and playing what looked like a very intense game of wizard's chess with Ron Weasley, while Hermione and Remus were having what sounded like a very serious discussion on Magical non-Human Rights. Fred and George Weasley were very excitedly demonstrating one of their latest inventions to their older brothers, Bill and Charlie, while their father dozed quietly on the sofa next to his wife. 

"Tonks dear, how was your nap?" asked Molly, furiously knitting a bright gold jumper and darning an old maroon sock as she poured a cup of tea. 

"Quite nice, thanks," said Tonks, taking the steaming cup from Molly. "I don't know how you can knit like that and darn a sock at the same time. Even when I am paying close attention, my knitting just winds up jumbled and useless."

"Takes lots of practice, dear," said Molly with a wink. "You'll get the hang of it." Tonks seriously doubted that, but she just smiled and thanked Molly again for the tea. 

Looking around for a place to sit down, Tonks found that the only empty spot was a small foot stool near the fire right next to a very morose looking Harry.

"Hello, Harry," she said, extra careful not spill her tea as she sat down. 

"Hey," said Harry, not taking his eyes off the fire. "Have a nice bath?"

"Yes," said Tonks. "You should try it out, very nice."

"Maybe I will," said Harry. "Though I think I'll use less flowery stuff."

"I smell that bad, eh?"

"No, you smell really nice, actually," said Harry. "But you smell like a girl."

"Well, I suppose it is better than smelling like a hippogriff," said Tonks, taking a bite of her sandwich.

Harry laughed a bit in spite of himself, but then his expression darkened again. "Speaking of which, I should probably go check on Buckbeak. He's probably really lonely without... without Sirius."

"Everyone has been taking really good care of him. Remus especially, he knows how much Buckbeak meant to Sirius," said Tonks. "Actually, I am surprised Remus is staying the night. He hasn't... not since..."

"Yeah... he told me." Harry was looking directly at her now, his eyes very hollow and sad. "You can come with me, if you want. To check on Buckbeak, I mean. You don't have to though if you don't want to. He eats rats, it's kind of gross, so if you don't want to, I'll totally understand, but... I thought... I thought it might be kind of nice if we could talk."

"I-I want to, Harry," said Tonks. "And I don't mind the rats, not after the vermin I deal with day in and day out."

"Thanks," he said quietly, rising from his chair. Harry proffered one of his very lovely hands to help her up from her stool. It was very warm, and his grip very firm and he held onto her just a little bit longer than necessary. 

"Where are you two off to?" asked Molly, gently folding the maroon sock with its mate. 

"Check on Buckbeak," said Harry.

"Well alright, but I think it is getting to be time for bed," said Molly with a yawn. "Got your sock all finished, Professor Dumbledore."

"Why, thank you, Molly," said Professor Dumbledore, as Tonks and Harry exited into the hallway. "Means the world to me."

***

"Hey, Beaky," whispered Harry, waving a dead rat under the sleeping hippogriff's razor sharp beak. Buckbeak opened one of his large, golden eyes and bowed his great feathery head at Harry. "Happy to see me?"

Buckbeak rustled his wings and nudged Harry's hip in response. "I'm happy to see you too, Beaky. Must be really lonely up here."

"Hello, Buckbeak," said Tonks with a respectful bow to the feathery beast. Her old Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Kettleburn, claimed he lost his right foot to a mad hippogriff, so she was always extra careful, despite being on quite friendly terms with Buckbeak. 

"I think he wants to get out," said Harry. "Stretch his wings a bit. Come to that, I'd like to get out of here as well."

"But you've just arrived," said Tonks, petting Buckbeak's withers and offering him an especially plump rat. 

"It's just hard to be here, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, Harry," said Tonks. "But your friends are here for you, and they really do care. Hermione and Ron are really worried about you. They say you've been ignoring them."

"I guess I have," said Harry with a sigh. "I just... I just don't know what to say to them. It's not the same."

"It will never be the same," said Tonks. "And that's... well that's just the way it is. Merlin knows I wish things were different. You carry a load you shouldn't have to carry alone. The Prophecy may be about you, but Ron and Hermione -"

"I haven't told them about the Prophecy yet," Harry said quietly. "I haven't told anyone."

"You told me," said Tonks, slightly exasperated.

"Yeah, I know," said Harry. "But you're different."

"How so?"

"You're an Auror and you... well, you listen and stuff."

"Sounds to me like Ron and Hermione would like to listen too. They've stuck with you all along. Are you afraid they'd just run away saying 'Sorry mate, it's just you and Lord Thingy now'?"

"No, that's not it at all," he said, shaking his head. "I'm afraid they'll continue to do what they are doing. I'm afraid they'll continue to get hurt like they did at the Ministry. I'm afraid..." he trailed off, swallowing hard before continuing. "I'm afraid they'll get killed and it will be all my fault, just like it was with Sirius. I'm afraid Voldemort might try to use them to get to me. I don't want to lose them. I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't want to lose you either."

_How could he be so effing dense?_ "First of all, what happened with Sirius wasn't your fault," said Tonks, trying to keep her voice steady. "Second of all, in case you hadn't noticed, we are in the middle of a _war_. Hermione is a Muggleborn. My dad's a Muggleborn. My mum cut ties to her own very rich, very powerful, very ancient family the first go round at this, before you were even a twinkle in your father's eye. And as much as it _is_ about you, it's not _just_ about you, Harry Potter. Close to four hundred people are running around the countryside under the Imperious curse right now. Did you forget that? Voldemort might have it out for you personally, but you aren't the only one with a dog in this fight. The final showdown may be yours, but the rest of us are in this thing too.

Harry just stared at her in stunned silence.

"And third of all-" Tonks paused to catch her breath. "I'm not yours to lose."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Long time coming, I know. Part IV will come much faster (already well underway). If you want updates and the occasional cookie, you can subscribe to my yahoo group (see my ff.net profile). If you are interested in the Harry/Tonks romantic pairing, please see my profile for useful links. I am also trying to put together a rec list of the best Harry/Tonks stories out there – all ratings, all lengths. If you have a favorite story, I'd love to read it. Please email me (lizardlaugh@knight2king.net). If you are wondering why it took me so long to update this time, please check out knight2king.net – Ron, Chess, Dumbledore, Madness. Not a fic, but a canon theory. **

**Love the feedback, keep it coming. It really, really means a lot to me. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like and where I could improve. **


	4. Yours to Lose

**Disclaimer: **Jo owns it; I just play in her sandbox. 

**Rating: **PG-13 for SPOILER and SPOILER

**A/N:**A big thank you to Abigail89 for the beta read, Archchancellor for the Brit picking, all my reviewers for their feedback and my Live Journal friends list for listening to my wibbles. This chapter is dedicated to me, as I turn 27 tomorrow and feel really, really old. 

**Birthday Boy, Part IV**

**_Yours to Lose_**

Harry Potter was flying high above the streets of London astride a beast the people below probably thought only existed in legend. He was breaking at least ten different magical laws, but quite frankly, he didn't give a flying hippogriff. 

The damp, chill air whipped around him, cutting through his thin t-shirt and tatty old jeans as though they were made of tissue paper. He urged Buckbeak higher still until his clothes were completely soaked, his skin raw and his stiff, frozen fingers barely hanging onto the hippogriff's feathery neck. 

Harry had said nothing after Tonks finished tearing him apart with her tongue. Nothing at all. He didn't really know what _to_ say. Of all the people he knew, she was the one person he thought would understand. He had watched her shrug her shoulders and turn her back to him in exasperation. Watched her walk straight out the door without so much as a backwards glance.

_"The final showdown may be yours, but the rest of us are in this thing too."_

Deep down he knew she was right, but he wouldn't accept it. Tonks couldn't possibly understand what it was like to watch Cedric and Sirius die over and over and over again. She couldn't know what it was like to watch Ron, eyes wide with shock, falling and falling as Bellatrix Lestrange laughed that horrible laugh. She couldn't know what it was like to see Hermione running after him and falling too... 

No, he wouldn't tell them about the Prophecy and that was final. He would continue to distance himself. If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't be in any danger at all. Besides, they had each other now. They had something they couldn't share with him, and that stung. He had something he couldn't share with them either, so they were even. All for the best, really. 

_"I'm not yours to lose."_

"I didn't mean it like that!" Harry wanted to scream. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit he _wanted_ to mean it like that, but really, it was just _her_. Her friendship, having someone to talk to. Having someone who would _listen_ for once. Having someone he thought understood. Having someone who made him feel.... ok yes, he had meant it like that. A bit presumptuous, but he could just tell she felt the same way and it didn't take a Legilimens to figure it out. Or did she really feel the same way? Maybe she really thought he was a just a stupid kid like everyone else did and was too kind to hurt his feelings. 

No, no, no... Tonks wasn't like that. Besides, she wasn't one for sparing feelings. She did kiss him back, not once, but _twice_, after all. Plus, she had never treated him like a kid, ever. Maybe she was just afraid of what people might say... she didn't seem to care otherwise, pink hair and all... _Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way. Maybe she changed her mind._

This was all so hopeless. Why did he have to kiss her? Things were so much easier when he was just crushing quietly in the background. He really needed that book, _Translating Mad Things Girls Do So Boys Can Understand Them_. He had obviously gone very, very wrong with Cho and was definitely not doing any better with Tonks, despite her being a heck of a lot less leaky. 

_Forget it_. He had too much to worry about now without adding girl -- okay _woman_ -- problems on top of everything else. He would be the lone hero. He would take Voldemort down alone or die trying. 

_Die a virgin?_ whispered a little voice inside his head. _How tragic_. 

_No_, Harry thought, he wouldn't die a virgin because he wasn't going to die. 

"Okay, Beaky," Harry yelled, hoping the hippogriff could hear him over the rushing wind. "Time to go back." 

Buckbeak bobbed his head and reluctantly turned back towards Grimmauld Place. They arrived to find Dumbledore sitting in Buckbeak's room, waiting. 

"Good evening, Harry," said Dumbledore. "Have a nice flight?"

"Er, I can explain," stammered Harry. "Buckbeak--"

"I am sure Buckbeak needed to stretch his wings a bit," said Professor Dumbledore, looking a great deal more amused than Harry thought he ought to under the circumstances. "Though I would hope the next time you decide to go flying off for some wing stretching that you let someone know where you are off to. Your friend Ron is still awake, waiting up for you. He's very worried, you know."

"Yeah," said Harry. "I know."

"He wonders why you are avoiding him."

"Did he tell you that?" Harry asked, with an edge to his voice. Who was Dumbledore to chastise _him_ for avoiding people?

"He didn't have to," said Dumbledore. "But I am not here on his behalf. I have been waiting here for you for another reason entirely."

"Oh?"

"You are probably wondering why I am letting you join Tonks and Kingsley on their dangerous Auror rounds, but not letting you into the Order," Dumbledore said. 

"The thought had crossed my mind, yes," said Harry, growing irritated with the old man. Ever since last spring, he just couldn't look at Dumbledore the same way. He didn't quite trust him anymore. At least, not with the blind faith he once did. 

"The Prophecy says that 'one must die at the hand of the other'," said Dumbledore. "And that means..."

"No one else can kill me?"

"Precisely," said Dumbledore. "At least not until you have managed to vanquish Voldemort himself."

"But couldn't Voldemort just kill me at any time? Show up in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade or something and hit me with a killing curse while I'm shopping for broom polish?" Harry asked. 

"No, he could not. Not so long as you are under the care of your mother's sister," said Dumbledore. "And until your seventeenth birthday, no matter how much you despise her, no matter how horrible she is to you, you are under her care."

"So he shows up on my seventeenth birthday," said Harry. "I'm still no match for him."

"You have a year," said Dumbledore. "I suggest you use this time wisely."

"Study hard? Learn my lessons? That sort of thing?" Harry asked, not bothering to hide his sarcasm. "Hope for some really awesome magical super powers to surface?"

"The Metamorphmagus abilities aren't enough?" Dumbledore said with an amused wink. "But, yes... and no. What I really mean is that you should take the _time_ to enjoy your life and the people in it."

Harry chuckled bitterly. "Because come my next birthday, I may not have one, you mean?" 

"Not necessarily," said Dumbledore. "You have one year to live in which nothing can kill you. However, this is a dangerous time. Not everyone who celebrates your next birthday will be here to celebrate the one after."

"You are assuming I'll be around to celebrate the one after next as well?"

"I am assuming nothing," said Dumbledore, his face more serious. "I am telling you to take nothing for granted."

"So why can't I join the Order then?" Harry asked. "If I'm the one saving the world, why am I still sitting at the kids table?"

"Because, Harry," said Dumbledore with a heavy sigh, "you have more important things to do than attend boring meetings and listen to status reports."

"Like what?"

"Like save the world, as you say," said Dumbledore. "The work you are doing with Tonks, Kingsley, Severus, Remus and --" Dumbledore paused, his eyes twinkling "-- my Army is many times more important."

"If you don't mind, sir, I would like to know what is going on."

"And you will. Nymphadora Tonks has been telling you everything, has she not?"

"Er," Harry wasn't quite sure how to answer that; he didn't want to get Tonks in trouble. "She's... she's told me some things."

"She will continue to do so," said Dumbledore. "Now, before I go, I have something for you." Dumbledore reached into his voluminous robes and pulled out a small, black King chess piece. It was a Muggle chess piece made of plastic, one that didn't move. "It's a Portkey," he said. "Just twist the crown, and you will find yourself back here at Order headquarters."

Harry took the tiny plastic King from Dumbledore and slipped it into his pocket. "Er, thank you... But sir, I really would like to join the Order. Be taken more seriously," said Harry. It was all well and good for him to be allowed his lessons and lead the other students, but he really thought he should be accepted with the adults as an equal, under the circumstances.

"The Order isn't what you think it is, Harry. Besides, I have other work for you," said Dumbledore. "Now if you don't mind, I must be getting back to Hogwarts. Goodnight."

And with that, he vanished with a faint pop. 

"Hey wait --" Too late. _I do mind_.

Harry removed his sopping wet shoes and began crept down the hall towards the room he shared with Ron at Grimmauld Place, quietly shooting stunners at the random portrait that berated him for making puddles on the floor as he went. _So nothing can touch me_, he thought. The possibilities... he could do anything he wanted for an entire year. He could totally live it up. Harry wondered what sort of 'other work' Dumbledore had for him and if he could perhaps exchange that for admittance into the Order. _How positively Slytherin of you, Potter_, said a voice inside his head. _Fair trade_, he answered it back. Quietly, he turned the serpentine door knob, hoping to find Ron already asleep. 

"There you are!" grumbled a very much awake Ron, sounding highly irritated. "Where were you? Hermione was completely sick with worry."

"Took Buckbeak out," said Harry, not meeting Ron's eyes. 

"Is that why you are all wet then?"

"Yes, that is why I am all wet," answered Harry, shucking his dripping t-shirt. "That's what happens when you go flying in the rain."

"What if someone saw you? What if you got struck by lightning or got new-moana or something?

"Don't worry about me, Ron," said Harry, trying not to laugh. "It's pneumonia, and you sound just like Hermione."

"You could have told someone, you know," said Ron, sounding more hurt than angry. "Not that you tell any of us anything anymore."

In spite of himself, Harry began to feel guilty. This was Ron, his very best friend in the whole world. Even if he couldn't tell Ron about the Prophecy, even if he was still sore over Ron and Hermione being together, Ron was still his very first real friend. 

"I-I'm sorry," said Harry quietly, toweling off his hair with one of Dudley's old sweat shirts. "Been having a rough time of it, you know? It's hard to be around people."

"Since when are Hermione and me 'people'?" asked Ron huffily. "We're your best friends."

Ron was right, they weren't just people, but still... Harry was finding it harder and harder to relate. "Yeah," said Harry, digging around in his school trunk for a set of pajamas. "You and Hermione are my best friends."

"Y-you mean that?" Ron asked, his blue eyes wide with earnestness. "Because, I still consider you my best mate. Always will."

"Yeah," said Harry, remembering the smudge-nosed redheaded boy on the Hogwarts Express who was his first true friend. "I mean it... and I always will."

"So... how 'bout you telling me what happened with the concert and the Death Eaters and all?" 

"Sounds like you've already heard the whole story," said Harry with a laugh.

"Not the WHOLE story," said Ron. "And not from _you_."

Feeling slightly less ill at ease, Harry sat down on the edge of Ron's bed and told the whole story (plus a few embellishments, minus a few indiscretions). He was more than a little pleased that Ron laughed and gasped and was amazed at all the right places. "So you told the lady at the cathouse that you were Malfoy and Zabini?"

"Yeah," said Harry, grinning in spite of himself. "Wouldn't it be funny if they found out?"

"What wouldn't I give to see the look on Malfoy's face?" Ron said. "So then what happened?"

"Well, er, well... we went up to the room," said Harry, trying to remember. "We contacted the Order, and then..." He couldn't exactly tell Ron about what happened between him and Tonks. Then again, Ron had a girlfriend, right? But that girlfriend was _Hermione_, and Ron would probably tell Hermione, and while Ron might be impressed, Hermione probably wouldn't approve. . 

"And then..." Ron repeated eagerly.

"And then... we, er, we took turns on watch," said Harry. "I went first, and then Tonks. I fell asleep...." _And had a horrible dream where you got knocked into this bottomless pit by Bellatrix Lestrange. And then I woke up... and Tonks was there, and ohmygodhowembarassing. _"Er, yeah... and then Snape came and got us, and um, that was that. Yeah."

"Oh," said Ron, slightly disappointed. "Fred and George said that Snape said that you and Tonks were in bed together. I think you skipped over that part."

"Oh, yeah, well, we just fell asleep, you know?" said Harry nervously. "And then Snape, you know what a horrible git he is, just made an assumption that we were, er, you know..."

"An older woman!" exclaimed Ron, clearly impressed. "Wow, Harry!"

"Shhh! It wasn't like that," Harry said, trying to quiet Ron down before he woke the entire house. Harry's cheeks were burning, and he couldn't quite look Ron in the eye. 

"Are you _sure_?"

"Ok, it was sorta like that, but --"

"Wicked!" Ron breathed. "So, how did this happen, I mean, Tonks is a _woman_ and an Auror and stuff. She's really hot too. Did you --"

"Hey!"

"I mean, she's really, really nice and stuff," said Ron. "No offense, but what does she see in a scrawny midget like you?"

"Er, apparently nothing," said Harry, remembering Tonks's parting shot. "And I'm not a midget; I'm just not a mutant like you."

"So wait, what _really_ happened?"

"It's kinda hard to explain..."

"Try me," said Ron, as though he were suddenly an expert on girl troubles. 

"Ok, but you have to promise not to tell anyone," said Harry. "Magically binding promise."

Harry told Ron the whole story this time ('I can't believe you just kissed her like that! How was it?'), including the more embarrassing bits ('she kissed you when she looked like you? Fred and George told me...'). 

"Anyway, later, we got in sort of an argument..." Harry trailed off, remembering what it was exactly they got in an argument about. He couldn't tell Ron. Not yet. It was nice to be on speaking terms again, he had to admit, but he couldn't tell Ron about the Prophecy. He just couldn't. "And, well, she basically told me that there wasn't anything between us. Then I er, well, I got sort of angry and I flew off with Buckbeak."

"I'm sorry, mate," Ron said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Maybe she'll change her mind? I mean, Hermione gets mad at me all the time and...."

"Yeah," said Harry, getting in his own bed and crawling beneath the covers. "Yeah, maybe she'll change her mind."

The knock at the door came well before the sun rose. 

"Who's there?" Harry yawned sleepily. He was in the middle of a very good dream for once, and he couldn't quite remember....

"Go away," grumbled Ron, still half-asleep. "It's not even the bum crack of dawn..."

"It's Tonks. I've come to collect Harry."

"In a minute," Harry called. "Sorry, Ron," he whispered.

Harry quickly dressed as Tonks waited outside the door. He had forgotten he was to shadow her and Kingsley today. 

"Hello," Harry said, closing the door behind him. He couldn't quite look her in the eye, but instead focused on her shiny, leather boots. Boots that went all the way up to her knees, ending just below her...

"Er, about last night..." she said, sounding as awkward as Harry felt. 

"It's okay," said Harry, feigning an air of nonchalance. "It's probably best that, well, you know."

"Yeah."

They were to meet Kingsley in Diagon Alley, but first Harry needed to work on his appearance. He couldn't exactly go running around in public looking like Harry Potter. Quietly, they made their way down to the kitchen, which was dark and silent at this hour. Even Mrs. Weasley, who usually roused early to make breakfast, was still sleeping. 

With a few flicks of her wand, Tonks lit a fire and several hanging candelabras. "We'll grab some brekky once we get to Diagon Alley. Molly'd flay me alive if I went digging around in here," she said, filling a hip flask with water from the sink. 

"Fine by me," Harry said with a shrug. He wasn't hungry.

Tonks coached Harry along with his transformations, starting with a short warm-up, as she usually did for their lessons, only this time, things were different. Gone were the teasing grins when he got something wrong. Gone were the unconsciously intimate pats on the shoulder when he got something right. Harry sorely missed that. She spoke in crisp, clipped tones. Her face was pensive. Her hair (a medium blond today) was pulled back into a severe pony tail. All business.

When they were finished, Harry didn't recognize the face that stared back at him from Tonks's small hand mirror. The scar was, of course, gone. His hair was a brown, curly mop. His eyes were more rounded and hazel. With some difficulty, he had made his nose longer and had etched the barest fine lines around his mouth and eyes. He looked closer to thirty than twenty. 

"Not perfect," Tonks said. "A trained eye would notice your pores are too small and your skin too smooth for the rest, but no one will be examining you that closely. You'll do."

"How long does it take to learn to look exactly like someone else?"

"Depends," said Tonks. "If you want to look like a specific person, you could probably do so with a few days of hard study."

"Er... so how were you able to turn into me so fast?"

Harry thought he saw Tonks go slightly pink, if only for the tiniest moment. "I had been around you a great deal, of course... and you were right there in front of me, so I um, well, I knew what you looked like. If it is someone I know well, I can transform into that person with relative ease, depending on, er, well, depending on how closely I had been observing them. Someone new would take a bit of study. Not days, of course, but with a good photograph I could get it within a few hours."

"So you had been observing me closely then?" Harry asked slyly.

"Dumbledore did ask me to keep a close eye on you, so, um, yes," she said to her shiny black boots. "All of the observing your transformations, and things. It... well, it makes you very aware of, um, of how someone looks." Tonks was clearly uncomfortable with this line of questioning, which pleased Harry very much. 

They spoke very little on the journey to Diagon Alley. The Underground was relatively crowded with the morning rush, and unlike Mr. Weasley, Tonks had little difficulty with Muggle currency. Harry wondered if her dad had taught her or if interacting with the Muggle world was a part of Auror training. At any rate, she didn't need his help and they made the journey in an awkward silence. 

They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron to find Kingsley Shacklebolt waiting for them at a corner table, drinking coffee and reading the _Daily Prophet_. 

"Looking good," Kingsley said to Harry, pulling out a chair. "Didn't recognize you at all until I saw her." He nodded towards Tonks. 

"Heard much of anything yet?" whispered Tonks, taking a seat.

"Not a peep," said Kingsley, shaking his head and folding the paper. "Nothing in the _Prophet_, but I didn't expect it."

"Probably a blessing, all things considered, at least until we can find out what we need to before the Death Eaters figure out we are on to them," said Tonks.

"But they saw us," whispered Harry. "We got away; surely they would know we told Dumbledore."

"Yeah, but they don't know how closely our department is working with Dumbledore. Snape's been throwing them off," said Tonks. "Neither he nor the Order has any jurisdiction to investigate, and as far as they know, Dumbledore doesn't trust the Ministry to get involved. Which he doesn't, but he does trust Amelia Bones as well as Kingsley and me."

"Once we find out what we need to, we'll blow the cover off the whole thing," said Kingsley. "A Ministry leak to the press." He winked at Tonks. 

"Have we still time for a bite?" Tonks asked, leaning across the table to check Kingsley's watch. Leaning a little too closely, Harry thought. 

Harry ate his breakfast in silence as Tonks and Kingsley chatted quietly. They had an ease and familiarity with one another that left Harry feeling more than a little jealous. Perhaps Tonks's warm, friendly way with him was just her warm, friendly way in general. Or maybe she just liked Kingsley more. 

The Leaky Cauldron began to fill up with the morning rush, and it felt kind of odd not to have everyone staring at him for once. Harry rather liked it. It was almost like being invisible. 

After breakfast, the three made their way to the Screaming Banshee, which looked like a real dive in daylight. The doors were barred shut, both with heavy locks and heavy magic, but Tonks and Kingsley found a way in. Harry followed. Dust motes swam in the early morning sunshine, filtering in from a row of small windows near the ceiling. Broken glass and paper refuse crunched loudly beneath their feet, echoing off the water stained concrete walls. The whole place had a rather unnerving air to it, and Harry was slightly relieved to see that both Tonks and Kingsley were also on edge. 

"H-Hello?" Tonks called. No answer. 

"There has to be a back office in here somewhere," said Kingsley. "Did either of you notice anything when you were here before?"

Harry shook his head. "We were at the bar, then up by the stage..."

"There were some corridors behind the stage," said Tonks. "Changing rooms, it looked like, but probably an office. Maybe a hidden flat. Did you find out who owns this place?"

"Bjorn Andersen," said Kingsley. "Danish bloke. Think he went to Durmstrang. At least, that is what I heard. Not from here, anyway."

"It was an American at the door," said Tonks. "Recognized the accent. Pot bellied. Stubby, cherry wood wand. Sound familiar?"

"No," said Kingsley, who was checking behind the bar.

"We'll need to get a subpoena for a Pensieve extraction on him, whoever he is," said Tonks. "The Yank would have seen every single person who entered the building. He's probably our only hope of tracking everyone down."

"Er, what's a Pensieve extraction?" Harry asked. It didn't sound very pleasant.

Tonks shot a quick glance at Kingsley, who nodded silently. "Well, there is a device called a Pensieve -" Tonks began.

"I know what a Pensieve is," interrupted Harry. "I've been inside one before."

"Then you have the basic idea of it," said Tonks. "Only, in a case like this, we have the witness take a special potion and it extracts every single memory from a certain time period. It's not very pleasant, quite intrusive, and very painful. It is not the same thing as the person extracting the memory themselves."

"It's also a terrible invasion of privacy," said Kingsley, his deep, usually mellow voice holding a hint of anger. "And while there are unscrupulous individuals in the Ministry who would like it to be standard practice, it isn't something we do unless absolutely necessary."

"It can be terribly inaccurate anyway," said Tonks with a shrug. "Not even admissible in a trial, but can be used in a case like this where the witness wouldn't remember every--"

Tonks was cut off by an ear-splitting sonic boom that knocked both she and Harry to the floor. The entire building shook violently, sending chunks of concrete and rebar crashing down around them. Harry grabbed Tonks by the arm and they both scrambled to their feet and ran towards the door. Kingsley was right behind, wand in hand, blasting the doors out of their way. They made it out of the building and across the street just in time witness the roof over the very spot they had been standing only moments before crashing down, walls folding in on top of it. 

While Harry stood there coughing and spluttering on thick, white dust, a huge crowd had gathered on the sidewalk, talking excitedly and pointing at the building. 

"What do you think happened?" asked a voice that sounded familiar to Harry. 

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Tonks quietly, reaching for her wand in its hip holster. "We need to get these people out of here."

"I don't know," said another voice sounding quite frightened, and this time Harry knew exactly who it was – Ginny Weasley. "But look!"

Harry did look, and what he saw made his blood turn to ice. Death Eaters, thirty at least, all raising their wands at once.

"RUN!!!" bellowed Kingsley, distracting the crowd before the Death Eaters could do what they had done at the concert. 

The crowd became hysterical. Some running, some pulling out wands and taking aim at the Death Eaters. Harry picked off two himself before he noticed Ginny was still there, wand out, along with Dean Thomas. 

"Get out of here, both of you!" Harry yelled at them, as a red flash of light narrowly missed his ear. _How could they be so stupid?_ Dean looked at Harry as though he were confused and kept fighting. If they insisted on sticking around, there wasn't much Harry could do, though if anything happened to Ginny...

"Down!" Tonks cried, crashing into Harry and pulling him to the ground as something blue streaked past. "You can't get distracted like that. Let them go! There's nothing you can do."

Harry nodded reluctantly, and leapt to his feet again. More Death Eaters began Apparating all around where others had fallen. After a while, he began to lose count of how many he had taken down, though it didn't seem to matter as there was always one to take its place. He got hit himself many times, but it was as if the spells and curses weren't having the full effect. He could feel blood trickling wetly down the side of his face. His muscles ached from an attempted Cruciatus and his left leg was twitching slightly from what he knew must be a Jelly Legs Curse, but for the most part he was unaffected. 

Harry tried to keep track of Ginny in the crowd, despite Tonks's warning. Turning back towards the collapsed building, he spied a thick, beefy Death Eater aiming his wand directly at Kingsley's exposed back from atop a pile of rubble. 

_"Stupefy!" _Harry yelled. The hooded man froze. Losing his balance, he plummeted to the ground, his skull hitting the pavement below with a sickening crack. Harry's stomach convulsed as he realized he had just killed a man. The Death Eater's mask slipped from his face. It wasn't a man. It was one of Harry's classmates, Gregory Goyle. _Later, _he told himself, _deal with it later_.

Bodies were piling up in the street. Some looked as though they were just stunned, but many were definitely far worse off, even dead. From somewhere far away, Harry could hear another explosion, but it didn't matter. The most important thing was staying alert and alive and taking out as many of the bastards as he could manage. 

He didn't know how long it went on that way. The hot, summer air was thick with dust and sweat and the smell of charred flesh. His wand felt as though it was fused to the palm of hand -- a slim holly and phoenix-feather extension of his arm. For the very first time he was intimately aware of the magic coursing through his body. It was electric, exhilarating. It was as if he were a conduit for this enormous, invisible energy permeating the air all around, drawing it in and forcing it out again, laser focused, through the tip of his wand.   
Colored light shot through the air and black hooded strangers fell, faceless. It was okay if he couldn't see their faces. He was operating on instinct, finely honed from D.A. practice and now battle. When the Death Eaters began to Disapparate, a small part of Harry was disappointed. The rest of him wasn't ready to admit how much he enjoyed this and longed to feel that strange, magical ecstasy again.

As the Death Eaters vanished, Aurors began Apparating all around. _A little late_, aren't you? Harry thought bitterly to himself, and that it is when he saw...

His vision was a bit blurry and his eyes stung from the sweat and blood, but a flash of flame red hair caught his eye. _Ginny_. Harry rushed towards where she lay in a crumpled heap on the sidewalk, Dean Thomas's dark, lean form draped protectively over her. 

"Ginny! Dean!" Harry called. He fell to his knees beside them. Dean was conscious, but just barely. His face was bloodied, his right eye swollen shut. 

"How... who... ?" was all Dean could manage, before his good eye rolled back into his head. 

"You know these two?" It was a middle-aged witch in lime green robes. A Healer.

Harry nodded. "Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas. Will they be all rright?" His eyes searched the woman's kindly face, but she was looking at something else: Dean's leg. Or rather, what was left of Dean's leg. 

"I-I don't know," she said uncertainly, then turned towards a tall, dark haired man nearby who was also in Healer's robes. "I need a Portkey stretcher here!"

"He'll be okay, won't he?" Harry began to panic. Dean was losing a lot of blood. _They shouldn't have been here..._

The Healers ignored him, and lifted Dean's mangled body onto a hovering stretcher. The dark haired man did something to the handle, and the stretcher vanished. 

"Let's take a look at this one," said the woman, pulling out a funny silver pocket watch with pictographic symbols instead of numbers. She moved her wand in the air above Ginny's body, and the hands moved around the face of the watch. The woman nodded her head as if agreeing with it. "She's got a mild concussion. A sprained wrist. Normally, we would take her in, but it is going to be a very long time before anyone can see to her, what with..."

"Yeah," said Harry. 

"Do you know where she lives?"

Harry nodded. "I'll take care of her." The woman moved on. 

He wasn't sure how he was going to get Ginny back to Grimmauld Place, when he suddenly remembered the chess piece Dumbledore had given him. The tiny black king was in his pocket, though he didn't remember putting it there when he dressed that morning, which felt like nearly a century ago. Harry touched Ginny's small fingers to the plastic, and was about to turn the crown when he remembered... Tonks. He couldn't leave her. He had to know she was safe. He knew she was a professional, that she could handle herself, that she'd saved his skin more than once already, but he had to make sure. 

Desperately, his eyes searched the crowd as his heart thudded loudly against his ribcage. Aurors, Healers and Medi-wizards were all around. Wounded witches and wizards were milling about, but none of them was Tonks. He spied Kingsley, blood soaked gauze wrapped around his head, talking to another Auror, but he didn't see Tonks. 

"Ginny," Harry said, though he knew she couldn't hear him. "I'm going to send you back to your mum now." He cupped Ginny's hands around the chess piece, manipulating them to turn the crown of little king, careful to touch no part of the Portkey himself. An instant later, she was gone. 

Shakily, Harry rose to his feet. He approached Kingsley, who looked quite relieved to see Harry was relatively uninjured. "Have you seen Tonks?" Harry asked anxiously.  
Kingsley shook his head. "Last I saw she was headed back towards the Leaky Cauldron."  
"It's gone," said the Auror Kingsley had been talking to. He looked badly shaken. "The Leaky Cauldron, it's gone. Magical barrier's destroyed. Can't get in or out."  
Harry swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"  
"Can't see it from the Muggle side. All that's left on our side is a collapsed stone wall. It's just gone."  
"What about the people inside?" Kingsley asked.  
"Vanished along with the building, we suspect," said the man. 

"That must have been the second explosion," said Kingsley. "But how could that be?"  
Harry didn't stick around long enough to find out. Stuffing his wand into his back pocket, he began running back down the road, shoving his way through the shell shocked crowd, towards where the Leaky Cauldron once stood.   
A woman in torn and bloodied robes with red, swollen eyes grabbed hold of his arm. "Have you seen a boy, about sixteen?" she asked, on the verge of hysterics. "Light brown hair, blue robes? His name is Terry. He was just going to meet a friend while I got his school things. Have you seen him?"   
"No," Harry said. "I haven't. I-I'm looking for someone, too."   
"If you see him, t-tell him his mum is looking for him." She moved on.   
When Harry finally got to where the Leaky Cauldron had been, he found it blocked off. There wasn't much there _to_ block off – just a pile of stone and an odd, silvery mist that hung between the shops on either side. A crowd was gathered round, some arguing with the Magical Law Enforcement officers.   
"My wife was in there!" a man yelled angrily. "You've got to let me through."  
"I'm sorry sir," said a stony faced officer, holding his wand as though he fully intended to use it if need be. "Too dangerous."

"What's on the other side?" someone asked.

"Don't know. Nothing. You just disappear," said another. "Already lost two Aurors. Everybody needs to get back."

The bottom fell out of Harry's stomach. "W-who were they?"

"Don't know," said the second officer. "Not in my department. A blonde witch and an older wizard. Wizard named Bates, I think." The first officer nodded. "That's all we know."

Knees weak, Harry slowly turned around. Her hair was blonde that morning... If Tonks had gone through the mist, then she was simply gone. _Just like Sirius..._ No, he would keep looking. And if he didn't find her, he'd come back with his invisibility cloak and go through the mist himself to search. 

Harry didn't know how long he walked around Diagon Alley. But by the time he had canvassed the entire area, the crowds had begun to thin down a bit, though there were quite a few holding vigil near the Leaky Cauldron, holding up pictures of friends and loved ones. It was very difficult for Harry to look – too many faces he knew. Terry Boot. Eaun Abercrombie. A Hufflepuff girl in the year below him. Stan Shunpike. 

"Did you find her?" It was Kingsley, favoring his right leg and walking with a limp. 

Harry shook his head.

Kingsley swore under his breath. "Why don't you go back to Headquarters, tell Dumbledore what is going on, and I'll try to find her."

"I'm not leaving," Harry said quietly. "Not without Tonks. Besides, I can't get through to the Muggle side. Can't Apparate and I don't have a broom."

"Find someplace to Floo, and someone will come and get you," said Kingsley. "Don't worry about Tonks. I'm sure we'll find her." 

"I-I'd really like to stay," said Harry. Even if she had gone through the mist, he'd like to search again, just to be sure. Maybe she was injured somewhere and couldn't call for help...

"Listen, Harry." Kingsley sighed. "That kid has luck like I've never seen before. As clumsy as she is, she should be dead by now. Kind of like you, only..." His eyes flicked to Harry's scar. Harry didn't feel very lucky just then. "I'll find her, I promise. She's like a little sister to me."

"Sure," Harry said, formulating a plan. Kingsley looked relieved. "I'll stop by Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes and use the Floo there."

"You want us to do what?" 

"Apparate over to Headquarters, one at a time. One of you talk to Dumbledore. Tell him what happened, while the other gets my Invisibility Cloak and brings it back here," explained Harry for the second time. "Oh, and there is uh... there is a broken mirror in my school trunk. Wrapped in paper. Bring me the two biggest pieces." Harry wasn't sure it would work, but he would have to try. 

George held an ice pack over a large, purple lump on his forehead while Fred shakily downed a smoking Heating Draught to rid himself of the Shivering Shakes a Death Eater managed to hit him with during the attack on Diagon Alley. 

"What are you planning to do again?" Fred asked, as white billows of steam poured from his freckled ears. 

Harry sighed. The Weasley twins were usually up to this sort of thing. He had wasted nearly fifteen minutes already proving he was really the real Harry Potter (changing back into his normal self), assuring them that Ginny would be fine and explaining what he needed them to do. 

"Tonks has gone missing. I think she went through the mist where the Leaky Cauldron used to be. I need my dad's cloak, it's the only way I'll get past the guards," Harry said, slightly exasperated. "What, you are in the Order now, so you have to look out for little Harry Potter? You two aren't losing your nerve, are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Fred. 

"You really like her, don't you?" George squinted at him from beneath his ice pack. 

"Er..." Harry looked at the floor. "She's a friend."

"He fancies her, all right," said Fred, with a knowing look. 

"Thought so," said George, with a nod at his twin.

"Will you do it?"

Fred and George looked at one another. Harry wondered if there was some kind of special Legilimency between twins. 

"For our very first investor --" said Fred.

"-- and the love of a beautiful woman," said George. 

"Anything we can do," said Fred, grinning, and they both Disapparated. 

Nervously, Harry paced the floor of the shop. It seemed like an eternity before George returned with a knapsack. 

"Listen, Harry, are you sure about this?" George looked quite serious. "Emmeline Vance saw the whole thing – the explosion, the Leaky Cauldron just vanishing, a few people went into the mist, but never came out. She said it had something to do with the destruction of a magical barrier. Creates some kind of magical limbo... no way back. I heard her explaining to our mum while I nicked you some food. She's going to flay us alive if she --"

Just then, Fred Apparated into the shop. "He hasn't left, has he?" Fred looked uncharacteristically frantic and out of breath. "Oh, thank Merlin, there you are Harry." He was holding something tightly in his fist. "Talked to Dumbledore... he said waste no time, and handed me this -- " It was the small black King chess piece, the one Harry had used to send Ginny back to Grimmauld Place, which Fred thrust into his open palm. 

"How did...?"

"No idea," said Fred. "He just said it was for you and to hurry back. Didn't give me a chance to explain anything. I suppose he knew you were, well, I don't know. It was quite odd..."

"Thanks," said Harry, throwing the cloak over his shoulders. _Waste no time..._ Dumbledore had the right of it for once. "I owe you one." 

"Yeah, well, just come back," said George.

"Preferably alive," said Fred, clapping on him on the shoulder. "Or Mum'll kill us."

"Wait," said Harry. "I almost forgot." Reaching into the knapsack, he pulled out one of the pieces of glass from the mirror Sirius had given him. 

"What is it?" George asked.

"Part of a two-way mirror," said Harry. "I-I don't know if it will work or not, but just in case..." 

Quietly, Harry slipped out of the shop and down the road. He had to be careful not to bump into anyone, lest he be discovered. It was late afternoon, the sun was about to set, but the streets were still filled with the injured and the mourning. By this time the truly desperate had given in and the guards in front of the Leaky Cauldron were quite bored and not paying close attention. Harry snuck past them unseen beneath his cloak, taking one last look at the tangerine sky. 

Resolutely, he stepped into the silvery mist and fell to his death. 

Harry was falling, though he didn't know how fast or how long or where he might land. Everything around him was an indistinguishable silvery gray, and he couldn't see the ground. As a child he heard it said that if you fell from a great height, you would die before ever hitting the earth – the fright of it would still your heart. Harry's heart was definitely beating, and frightfully fast at that. He wondered briefly if would be able to cast a Killing Curse on himself. The thought of dying by way of having his guts splattered over a ten kilometer radius was much too gruesome to contemplate. 

He didn't cast a Killing Curse, however, and continued to fall for what seemed like hours, maybe even days. There was no sound in this place and he could feel no wind, just the gravity of the fall acting on his body. _There should be wind_, he thought. 

Eventually terror and panic gave way to a kind of surreal complacency. For all he knew, he might be falling like this forever. Maybe he would catch up with Tonks on the way down, he was at least a stone heavier than she was... but then he remembered an old physics lesson from back at his Muggle school – Galileo and the leaning tower of Pisa. He'd never see her again...

Harry drifted in and out of consciousness. He would dream for a time, sometimes even dream that the falling was a dream, but then awaken, still falling. He had heard it said that when you were about to die, your life would flash before your eyes. For Harry, it was more like looking at the highlights reel and it didn't so much flash as play back in slow motion...

_"Your parents were killed in a car crash! Don't ever speak of them again!"_

_ "Harry -- you're a great wizard you know."_

_ "...to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."_

_ "...I stand by what I said before... you _would _have done well in Slytherin."_

_ "If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!"_

_ "Dobby knows, sir! Harry Potter has to go into the lake and find his Wheezy..."_

_ "Kill the spare!"_

_ "Wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on?"_

_ "There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... He's gone."_

_ "...AND EITHER MUST DIE AT THE HAND OF THE OTHER FOR NEITHER CAN LIVE WHILE THE OTHER SURVIVES..."_

_"No one else can kill me?"_

_ "Precisely"_

Harry awoke to crazed laughter. It took him a moment to realize that the laughter was his own. It took him yet another moment to realize he was no longer falling. 

There was a slight breeze caressing his cheek, brushing his messy fringe across his forehead and tickling his nose. The ground was warm and slightly damp against his back. He could smell grass and soil and something tantalizingly sweet like honeysuckle. He could hear insects and a rushing stream. The sound of water over stone was soothing, hypnotizing. He was thirsty. 

Slowly, Harry opened his eyes and crawled to his knees. He was completely overcome with thirst, so weak and dizzy he could barely hold his head up. His mouth felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton and his throat was so parched he could no longer swallow. 

On all fours, he made his way to the stream, its gurgles and splashes magnified tenfold in his water starved ears. The water was clear and probably very cold and he ached for it like nothing else ever before in his entire existence. Harsh sunlight beat down upon his neck. The breeze that had awakened him grew still. Just a few more feet...

A noise, a rustling of leaves, perhaps, on the opposite bank caused him to look up. He blinked a few times, unable to believe the sight before him. It was a woman...

Long, red hair cascaded over her shoulders. She had sad, green almond shaped eyes. Tears stained her cheeks and her face was a strange mixture of elation and sorrow and longing all at once. "Harry..." she said. He knew that voice.

"Mum?" Harry managed to croak through chapped lips. "Mum, I-I'm so thirsty..."

There was a man standing next to her. Harry hadn't noticed him before -- it was his father. Harry's mum buried her face in his shoulder. She couldn't look at him. 

Harry tried to call out again, but the sound died in his throat. His tongue felt like a dead thing in his mouth. He just needed some water. If he only he had some water, he could talk to them. He could be with them... just a few more inches...

His fingers grazed the cool, glass surface of the stream. Greedily, he raised his hands to his lips, just enough to wet them, just enough to tell his mum and dad how much he loved them and how he would be with them real soon. But before he could taste the precious water, he saw another man – it was his godfather, Sirius Black. He was shaking his head.

"No Harry," Sirius said, his voice coming from so very far away. "You can't..."

His mother looked so sorrowful, yet gazed so hungrily upon him... She was only a few feet away, and all he needed was one small taste... just a bit... just enough to tell her...

"Don't drink it." It was Sirius again, his voice even farther away. "The water... it will make you forget what you have to do... you have to go back. You can't stay here."

Harry's hands were shaking. Droplets of water clung to his finger tips, glittering like precious jewels, forming small rivulets that snaked towards his wrists. It was so hard... his fingers were almost to his lips...

"No..." Sirius was fading... "You have to tell Remus I-I... tell him..."

Harry never found out what he was supposed to tell Professor Lupin, as the world quite suddenly went completely black. 

Cool hands caressed his forehead... life giving water slipped between his lips, filled his mouth and slid down his throat. Coughing and spluttering he awoke, gasping for air. A very pretty, but very soot stained face hovered over his. The face looked worried. 

"H-Harry?" Her voice was apprehensive, bordering on panic. 

Harry blinked, and the world swirled around him, misty gray, but the face – he knew. "Tonks?" he croaked.

She sighed with relief and flung her arms around him. "Oh, thank God... you didn't drink from the Lethe! I thought for sure I'd lost you."

In spite of himself, Harry began to shake with silent laughter. "I'm not yours to lose."

Her body stiffened, but before she could pull away, Harry pulled her back down again hard against his body, her legs straddling his hips, their noses practically touching. Tonks was about to say something, but he didn't let her finish. His mouth captured hers in a long, bruising kiss – one she didn't pull away from. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair and she kissed him back hungrily, both forgetting completely where they were or how they'd ever get back. 

**A/N: If you want updates and the occasional cookie, you can subscribe to my yahoo group (see my ff.net profile). If you just want updates, you can click that little box below your review. I have a paid account, so you'll get an email when I update to ff.net. If you are interested in the Harry/Tonks romantic pairing, please see my profile for useful links.**

Mark Turnlach: I love Ron! It's still Harry/Tonks though, and they will be the main focus, not Ron/Hermione (I ship H/Hr too, btw). As for dangerous situations... I think Tonks is pretty good at keeping her cool in hairy cough situations. She's an Auror, and damn fine one... most of the time.

FREAKSHOW1: glad H/G shippers can like H/T too :D

Tal: By my calculations, Tonks is 21-22 as of OotP. 17/18 3 years Auror training 1 year as an Auror = 21/22. So 6-7 years older than Harry. 

mistik-elf13: We'll see Draco's reaction to Harry's little misadventure eventually ;)

Bowser: Dumbledore is an accomplished chess master; he always makes time for chess ;)

Shadowface: yes, she was trying to distance herself, but... heh. Resistance was indeed futile. 

Thanks for the reviews! If anyone has questions, I'll answer them with the next chapter. 


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